The Original Juice

I wrote the below excerpt from the delivery suite just after i was told i could walk about within the room. Thought i just posted what i have. I certainly cannot continue writing in such details. As there's so much more to write.


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Yesterday 25th MArch 09, we had our weekly check up. Long story short, I was 1cm dilated and overdue by 1 day. THe doc decided that due to my Gestational Diabetes, we shouldn't wait and admit me to be induced immediately. Well i still had a choice of that same night @ 10pm or next day @ 6am or 2pm.





I decided to go in that same night. I figured from most other people's experiences that it'll take some time for the tablet to take effect in starting contractions. So i'd have the night to rest.





So we came home after satisfying my tastebud for Fish & Co @ Bugis, packed my bag and took a 1.5hr nap and were ready to go at 8:45pm. The nurse told me to check in an hour early.





After saying my goodbye to mummy (she was the one who looked rather anxious hehe), me and Zubair were directed to the DElivery Suite Room 2. This is our room private room with attached bathroom and a nice comfy sofa for the husband.



I was told that they would monitor me and baby on the CTG scan for 30min first before the tablet is inserted (note: not taken orally. LOL). and then will monitor me again for 2 hours. That came out to midnight. I was then transferred to the normal ward 32 BEd 4. And took permission from the nurse to go buy something to eat. She asked me where i was going and for how long. Just downstairs for 1hr. She said hmmm ok but just 45min and took down my hp no. So caring! =)





We were told that husbands cannot accompany the wives at any other classes of wards other than the private suite. So Z spent the night at a Relative's Lounge. He was in such a poor state cos his body sorta got a shock when he heard i had to be admitted (haha kidding) and got down with flu. Furthermore, he couldn't sleep at that lounge because some uncle was snoring so loudly! LOL. So finally we just heck care and he came to accompany me. If the nurse asked, we'll say i need him by my side.





I cld hardly sleep a wink. It was 2am by the time i settled into a snooze then was woken up to take a CTG scan for 45min. it was the most uncomfortable 45min ever i felt like crying.

Wed 25th March 09 was admitted @ 10pm to be induced with tablet.



The next 12hours pain scale was only between 2 and 4 out of 10 and was only 1cm dilated the whole time!



My first request to go for a walk instead of being strapped to the damned machine was acceded but confined within the smal space of the delivery suite.



When at 3pm, Dr Endrina checked me, she suggested sending me back up to normal ward so i could do some major walking. COntractions were coming every 3min and painscale 4 then. The Registrar wasnt so keen to agree. She said, "we can wait, but the question is until when? We shld schedule you for a 2nd tablet"



So we agreed to wait till 10pm that night ie 24hrs after first tablet. My apprehension about it is that it might generate double and quadruple amount of pain as compared to contractions brought about naturally.



Thurs 26th Mar 4pm, i was discharged back to normal ward. I straight away went to circle level 3 of the WOmen's Tower and even found a nice outdoor garden. However, i found myself having to pause and take deep breaths everytime i have contractions.



AFter 30mins of walking (and pausing), i decided to take a warm shower. THen dinner was served. Intensed Contractions suddenly came like every min or so. After first bite of this shami kebab looking beefball, i felt like farting.... but i felt liquid rushing out instead. instantly and instinctively i knew it was waterbag and gasped so. and was straight away wheeled back to the delivery suite.



A VE showed i was 3cm dilated. Contraction pain was now 7 out of 10 and coming every 3min. I contemplated EPIDURAL. My thoughts were, if i can;t stand the pain now, how can i stand it if it lasts for another 7hrs based on dilation rate of 1cm/hr? and then the LABOUR some more??? I succumbed.





So i took it cool after that conserving energy for the big push later taking naps. In between i was praying hard in my heart with a special doa given by Hairiah "Inna fatahna laka Fatham Mubina" which roughly means We (Allah) open for you divine openings. So i read that line in earnest and other phrases as well...





Alhamdulillah i was sooo happy to know at 8pm i was 5cm dilated. People say the next 5cm to full dilation should be easier after this. The doctor let me know that some pple could still feel pain even after epidural. That usually means that the baby head is coming down and its diff for the drug to reach the far reaches of the perenium.



I began to feel contractions again. at 11+ the pain was back to no 5 and i requested for a top up of the drug for more effect. But it hardly worked as the pain progressed faster than the drug could work and the score was 7 now!!!


The feeling was more like you wanna go to toilet. Problem is cause i wasnt fully dilated yet, i hafta stop myself from pushing, so i employed the 2 short breaths and 1 long breath technique. I endured that for an hour or so while waiting for the anaesthetist to come and top up some more drug.


Even after the second increment, it wasnt taking any effect. I panicked when i started to feel like my tummy was gonna explode!!!! STOP STOP STOP, i thought. By now the midwife told me to take deep breaths into the oxygen with each pain. It's been an hour already. 1am. 9cm opened.


Shortly after that, she told me to stop the oxygen and fashioned my thighs for ideal birthing position and instructed me to push with the next contraction. I waited after the 3rd one before i pushed. One came and having taken deep breath pushed as hard as i could - she didnt count to 10 but just said YES YES SOME MORE SOME MORE HARDER HARDER. I didnt make a sound as i expelled all my energy pushing but sighed too loudly after! But husband and midwife counted to 3 for next push. So 3 pushes per contraction. 2 contractions. and BABY slithered out!!!! And i really mean SLITHERED somewhat like a fish!!


THe relief i tell you is great! SO GREAT I CRIED. I CRIED because im still alive, because baby is alive, because it had been a very BIG ORDEAL.


Conclusion: Even though my total birthing experience had been a long one (if counted from the tablet insertion would be 28hours) I would say that i was very lucky that it had been easy and a normal one ie not assisted nor c-sect. Even the midwife said I was very lucky baby's head was already down there and i only required 6 pushes to get thru it when other pple had to do a lot just to get the baby's head down. Only downside is, i got about 5 or 6 stitches, midwife said my perenium very short.


Again I would like to stress how grateful i am to have 5 of my best friends who have already given birth before me to guide me thru pregnancy and labour. Esp to Hairiah for that piece of doa advice, because frankly i was at a total loss what to read. And all my other friends who had prayed for me. I LOVE YOU ALL.




BABY DETAILS:

Male. Tentatively named Tufeil Hussain Zubair. 27th March 09 0118hrs

Weighs 3.165kg, 50cm long

Thurs 19/3

Felt contractions at 2am. (They like to come in the middle of the night dont they!?) But was not regular but made me feel rather apprehensive for the check up at 11am.


Had to wait about 1hr to do the ultrasound at Antenatal Monitoring Clinic (AMC) Jeez. Luckily, met Fara who was also there for her baby's appointment so 1hr passed by like nothing as we talked and talked. We were very loud though cos first we were shooed by the nurse to go from the waiting area inside, to the one outside and then i noticed some pple glanced back at us irritatingly. Sorry! We were sooo excited to meet and had a lot to talk about! heheheh


Then had to wait 15min to do the heartbeat scan for 30min. By the time I met Doctor Lubna, it was way past 1pm.


Amniotic Fluid 7.7 (Not to get below 5) and Baby's weight is 2.9kg (Good range between 2.5 - 3.5 i think). So Doctor said that she's comfortable to wait for another week AFTER my EDD. And that she won't do the VE on me if i dont want to. I shook my head hard!


She also noticed that Im having irregular contractions and asked if i felt anything. During the scan, NO. I did manage to glance at my chart and understood why Dr Endrina had to ask her colleague on what to do when she saw my chart last week. Last week's chart was VERY Regular BUT i still didnt feel anything. This week's was very random and at varying peaks.


Total cost: $53. not bad at all! I was thinking over $100!


Next Appt is Wed 25th Mar, a day after my EDD and to go thru the same procedures as today's.


We sighed breaths of relieves! INsya'Allah it will mean that we get to go to the family BBQ on Sunday and hopefully even manage to hold off till after Zubair's 2nd major concert on 24th Mar itself!


I did ask him though what if i deliver right DURING his performance???? He said its ok i'll come AFTER the performance, at least i'm still here. Memang nak kena cepuk betul!!! Let's just hope the baby will wait patiently for the papa to come and receive him before it decides to pop out!


The only negative outcome im feeling is the pressure to keep baby's weight down. My mum already commented, "Oh its heavier than Syifaa' when she was born" she was 2.7 or 2.8 like tt. Arghhh I sooo want a light baby. My friend's 3kg baby look soooo tiny and petite and cute. I can't bear to be responsible for his obesity in later life! HUARGHHHHHHH


I know i know... most importantly baby should be healthy... but i just can't help resoluting NOT TO EAT at all!! THAT kinda pressure ok! But alas... im not that strong willed. Just last night i finished the rest of the half of my McFlurry ice cream. LOL

Fri 13/03

The day started with severe body aches. Do i dare to think that it felt like period pain? They were dull aches tho not sharpish kinds that i expect contractions to be. Moreover, it lasted like half the day instead of the few minutes every 15 - 30min. But i was also having backaches... I deduced it might be because of the tight waistband around my pants. heh


I thank god that i managed to train and handover all the pending stuffs to the temp covering me while i'm away. I had high expectations and plans for her to do in those 2 weeks we were together. Alas, it was not meant to be.


While she has some insurance background, she is totally clueless about Excel. and the BULK of my work encompassed 2 or 3 main excel datasheets!!! So... as it turned out 75% of our time were spent showing her how to insert row, do borders, unhide, and all those stuffs on top of the more complicated Validation List, filtering, sorting, and what nots.


She kept saying how nice and patient i am to her when anybody else would have easily become agitated after explaining the 2nd time. Well... im not totally guiltless... i do my ranting in my heart... and thru various smses. I'm no saint, darling.


The poor dear had to keep up to my level of "meticulousness" as she described it herself. While i wouldnt even begin to dream to describe myself and/or my work as meticulous, i DO try to be organised - that's the OCD part of me talking. Like where u save your files... how i dont like too many icons on the desktop, my afflictions to doing things thru shortcuts etc etc.... I told her tho that she doesnt hafta do it my way, but she insisted that she should so the others won't feel... disrupted.


It was nice how Zubair felt very apprehensive about my position being "covered" while i'm away for 3 months. He kept asking me, "You sure its just a temporary arrangement?" My Boss said it himself, "What will we do without you?" on that last day at work while i showed him how to work the fax on the copier all in one thingy majigy. LOL.


Rather, the question is, "Do i wanna go back to the workforce?" ok ok... that's a stupid Qns... of course I HAVE TO! Do i have a choice? Not likely.


It felt super odd saying goodbye. I know its only temporary but i felt a certain sense of loss. Good thing that 2 of the nice ladies were already gone and had said bye temp farewells to them earlier, one guy and the boss have also left for business trips... so there were less pple to say bye to.


When it came to the FC... Suddenly i felt all resentment towards her evaporated with that last handshake. (It helped tho that she asked for my excel help nicely jsut the day before and called me a "Computer Genius") Then she asked, "So you'll be gone for 3 mnths huh? Maybe u wont see me around when u get back. Stressed already lah... everything also the boss dont know" No comment. *wide grin*


Aiseyman! I forgot to choose which hamper i want the company to give me - with the budget of $80, mind.


That night, actually RecClub has a Bowling Tournament. I've been looking forward to this tournament since 6 months ago and was ready to participate! In fact, i actually put my name down for it! hehe Until i got several calls from other concerned colleagues telling me NOT to. Damn! And then 2 of our guys from the dept pulled out at the last min too... So i decided not to go.


Just as well... was feeling very tired from the wholeday body aches and was anxious to get home and start my maternity leave....... *bliss...*

Thurs 12th Mar 09

After waiting for 20 or so min i was told to go and get a 30min CTG scan (to monitor baby's heartbeat). Unfortunately, someone just started on the one and only machine so we had to wait another 25min. So i went to see my dietitian first.

It hurts me to lie (not to mention that it wont do me any good) but when she asked if im still taking all the vits and supplements i just nodded. Truth is i havent been for the past 2 weeks or more! Its really really REALLY difficult to be consistent.

At this last stretch im also finding it EXTREMELY difficult to refuse sugary stuffs. So much so that the dietitian was disappointed to see my increased blood sugar level. It was only because i ate things like Fried Hong Kong noodle, 25% less sugar Granola Bars, a 3 oz Yami Yoghurt and a bite or two of some choc cakes.... *wide grin*

But i find it.... Ridiculous at best, and contradicting at least... when everybody else took their pregnancy as a very good excuse to indulge in SWEET nothings... I, for one, feel extra extra guilty when i consume just a tiny treat even a sip of lemon juice during this pregnancy. And i look forward to AFTER delivery to start hitting on ALL THOSE FOODS I MISS DESPERATELY!!! How ironic!


The only thing positive she could say was that i still maintained my weight at 67.6kg despite all the sinful food.


I had that nice gynae again! Dr Erinda, i believe her name was. She looked at the CTG scan report and commented, "Oh very active baby huh." Thank God! Then she went out with the report then came back saying, "It says here that you've been having some contractions, do u mind if i do a VE?" I winced. She said, "I promise to be very gentle." I relented.


No. I hadnt dilated yet. Thankfully too that I remembered Khairiah's tip to remain relaxed so it wont hurt as much. Actually she said so that the cervix would open quicker when you're not all tensed up but i applied it to this scenario as well and i suppose... it worked! I didnt feel anything afterwards!


The doc frowned too when she saw my latest readings. and stressed the importance of keeping a good diet, otherwise, i might be forced to get induced! Hmmm!


Next appt is exactly a week later on the 19th March, that is, if i still hadnt delivered. I will hafta go for ultrasound scan first to check fetal weight as well as waterbag level. YAYYY!! The best thing also is that i wont hafta rush back to the office after the appt cos by next week, i've started my leave already! Wheeeee


I promise myself to walk around the park after lunch.. say... 3 or 4pm if its not too hot? otherwise at night lah and i will make sure i drag Zubair with me! Haha... oh well who knows i can get contractions anytime anywhere now and shouldn't be left to my own devices!

... came the drama!

I called up my mum at 4:45pm yesterday, "Mummy, im going to the hospital now."

hehe... i made her shocked / panicked for awhile.

No i wasn't having labour pains... We were just concerned that the baby hasnt been very active ALL day!

Usually i would wake up in discomfort in the middle of the night with his kickings. He would also start jumping around when i hit the shower every morning. Too cold i guess. But yesterday morning. Na da. Zilch. nothing. Zubair came awake esp to ask me if he's been moving bcos he also noticed that the baby wasnt active all night.

I remember the gynae from the last visit said not to take the chances and just go to the hospital to get checked. At first, I gave ourselves time till after lunch... then extended it to after work.

I consulted 'Azma and she told me to try waking up the baby first so i started tickling him. LOL by tickling i mean scratching my tummy gently (its very itchy anyways but cant scratch hard so the skin is very thin round about there). Hmmm well yeah he DID nudge me back but after went back to sleep or... whatever the cause of the silence was.

Hairiah, on the other hand, told me to drink something sweet and then lie down on my side.

Felt a bit guilty with this thought in mind, "Could it be cause i indulged myself in a lot of sweet stuffs the previous night just before bedtime?" Cause i noticed the last time that this happened, i was eating sweet things the night before too. (Maybe ive been having a LOT of sweet stuffs lately. SHHHHHHHHHHH)

Funnily enough, during lunchtime, as we were having "coffee" at Coffee bean (no i dont drink coffee... but ordered a KIDS Sunrise with no whipped cream just as guiltily), a treat from my colleague, He was ALL action and stretches. By the time i reached back to the office, its the silence of the lamb again. Hmmmmmmmmmm

Told Zubair to get ready to go to the hospital.

On the way, 'Azma was very kind to tell me what to expect while i'm there. I only knew that they will strap me to the heartbeat monitoring machine for about 30min to 1hr but she explained to me the 3 possible scenarios that could happen AFTERwards.

1. If everything is well, they will discharge me
2. If not so well meaning there's some contractions or heartbeat is low, then they will transfer me to the normal ward to be admitted.
3. They will perform Vaginal Exam (thereafter known as VE) to see how many cm have i dilated (opened) to judge stage of labour.

(did i get u right, Mah? heh)


You know what happened?! the VERY moment i was asking to lie down and was strapped HE STARTED KICKING vigorously already!!! But i tot it was like a once off and waited listening to the beat myself. There were 2 or 3 times when his heart skipped a beat when he was stretching hard. Hmmmm scary.

at the 30th min or so i heard some nurse said, "Eh the Lizard went away already." HUH?!?!??! LIZARD?!?!?!? in this CLEAN sterile Hospital?!?!?!?!? Yikes!

1hr later, the doc came and showed me the chart. It has both fetal heartbeat as well as MY contractions. No i didnt have any and the heartbeat showed a VERY ACTIVE baby. Yeah yeah when i lie down THEN he started to move!

Zubair was so cute. I didnt get to meet him before i went into this Triage Room to be monitored because he hasnt reached already and men arent allowed in. He asked me to do a video call! heheh unfortunately i think 3G technology is barred in hospitals cos we both can't make video call.

I went out and see the anxious Papa. and reassured him everything's fine and dandy. Paid $32.15 for this 1hr of service. Thank God. I was imagining it could hit over $100!!

The funniest part of the day? Zubair said, "Everytime i wear this white t-shirt, i attract some kind of insects. Just now there was a lizard on my tummy!" ROLLING ON THE FLOOR LAUGHING!!! So this lizard came from MY, MY husband! LOL *shake head*

And now baby is making up for lost time. He's kicking me harder than ever!

3rd Mar 09


Got reprimanded (sorta) by the gynae for two things:

1. Not going to the hospital the moment i noticed decreased movements
2. Not doing my Blood Sugar Level for the past two weeks

Re No. 1, She said that its IMPORTANT that i go to the hosp to get a heartbeat check on the baby once i notice decreased movements in the baby because dont wanna risk anything to happen to it.

That day when i noticed it was moving very slowly and somewhat lethargically, i tot i'd wait and see how the next day went first before going to hosp. And the next day he got slightly more active and by the 3rd he was up to his usual self so everything's fine now.

Re No 2, She said it is crucial that i keep monitoring my blood sugar level so they can roughly gauge how the baby is doing inside. I apologised and said will do it the next day. She said that i can even do it every other day if i want to. Yes i want to... just need to go and buy some more supplies. Aiyah.

I weighed in @ 68.4kg!!! 800gm increase from 2 weeks ago! I hope i won't hit 70kg tho... that would be an awful lot to lose after delivery man!

It was our wedding anniversary day but the guy was fast asleep at home after an all nighter! So i had to go to the check up alone. Oh whatever... all the better in fact so i could catch up on my reading. BAH. Like the ad says, "Who needs a man when you have HArvey Norman?" Lol.

The gynae today was very nice... not so flustered that i managed to wriggle some answers out of her. I managed to tell her that i have very itchy skin to which she prescribed calamine lotion. I also asked her when's the next ultrasound gonna be. Her answer, "Oh there wont be anymore ultrasound because you can be due anytime soon. But if not, maybe 38th - 39th week." Oh well ok as long as she feels my baby is good and healthy lah. We'll meet him when we see him. =)

It was a good fortune for me that one of the 11 bestfriends delivered @ the same hosp just the day before my check up! So i went to see her first and got a detailed story of her birth right down to the minute detail as well as what to bring etc. Too many tips to write down here and i wanna go for a nap now... sooo... ill just write down MY own birth story when the time comes lah. Dont wanna spoil it for her also.

Next check up is in a week's time, 12th mar 09. EDD: 24th Mar 09. Eyow!

Ok... So its 8pm and im still in the office. Just finishing up actually. As usual its because the Paris Bosses are coming and i need to make 5 sets of report.

Stayed back last night too... But last night was better because 2 great kaki (friend/colleagues) were there too and we had fun laughing while finishing our work. Tonight its just the boss and me and now he's left already.

I'm still not finished but preparing for the stuffs to slot in on Monday.

Speaking of Monday, my temp will start on that day! I will have 2 full weeks to train her afterwhich she will be alone in the office with no other more exp staff around the next snr one also on maternity! LOL. She will also be coming just 3 days a week.

We have two weeks because i have more or less decided to start my maternity leave a week before my EDD of 24th Mar. Which basically means that by 3rd week of March ill be hanging around at home relaxing, playing game, treasuring the last few days with the hub at home as well as preparing for any more last minute items also should be doing lotsa walking...

A friend shared that during her time she wanted to work to the very last moment because she didnt think she could bare sitting around and waiting for the contractions to come at home. hehe... To be honest, i already feel anxious about the baby's arrival ... but i can't wait to sleep all day too! LOL

And about baby.... Strange... today it is rather quiet that its normal self. Yesterday i was complaining to Z that the baby's kicking me soooo hard and furious my tummy felt sore! Today the feeling was like... sombre... with only half hearted kicks and stretches. Should i start to worry? But i think it's still within 10 times a day... just not the usual level of activeness.

Today i almost went crazy with itchiness on the tummy too! I think it might be because of the pants. Its not tight ... just that it has got some ruffles where the elastic is that's making some kind of mark on the tummy and making me BONKErs!

Oklah... That's the update for tonight. I'm going off to pick up Z by cab from his class and then have dinner.

Night All.

So it was my first day back to work in the week yesterday and was sooo rushed to finish a report that by the time i realise it, it was already 6:15pm.

I dashed to the taxi stand and $12.35 and 18min later i reached KK just in time for the class to start.

I was quite disappointed that it wasnt the same physiotherapist though as i was looking forward to her class. However, the more disappointing part is that its more a revision of 1st stage of labour which i had just done the week before (other couples done many weeks before) because im actually attending a make up class.

The new stuff that she showed us was the C sitting position. She admitted that the best position for delivery is squatting with the natural help of gravity but that its not agreeable in hospital environment as you'd be strapped to machines. So instead they will bring the back of the hospital bed as vertical as possible and propped against a pillow we should sit as upright as possible with Thighs to open as wide as possible bent at the knees and hands holding on to ankle or the bed rail.


So embarrassing that we ALL had to practise to be in that position and furthermore i was alone. Thankfully the couple opp me against the other wall is quite far aways. In that position, we were told to do the bulge and push (??) technique during contractions. By this time, it should be coming every 3-4 min lasting for 2 min. We were told to lean back against the pillow, breathe deep filling ur tummy OUT, then face down, breathe out and PUSH. As u run out of breath, face up again to take another breath.


The first round, most of us were doing 4 breaths in 2mins. But the instructor said that its ok to be doing 6 - 8 intakes within that 2min so as not to be holding our breath.


Then at the crowning stage when you're NOT supposed to push, you should employ the pant-pant-blow technique which is expelling 2 short breaths and 1 long one. Doesnt matter how or what u say in between as long as there are 2 short and 1 long breaths out.


The other thing she skimmed for us is common postnatal problems such as backache and stuffs and how to overcome them by tilting ur pelvic bone until ur back is straight against the wall and maintaining good posture. *YAWN*


Just as well that Z wasn't there or he'd be soooooo turned off by antenatal classes. By the end of the class, which ended 40min earlier than scheduled, I swore that if she had said "as well" one more time, i'd punch her face. She was practically ending every other sentence with "As well" even when it was inappropriate!! Jeez!


But poor her. I think she was being evaluated in the class because she said she has a "colleague" with her that night who didnt say anything but just observed with a pen and paper on hand.


I did pose a question though, "How would the hospital view any other birthing position like on all fours?" She said its not advisable but you can consult ur doctor for that. But i told her, "I come from poly, and the doctor said that they dont entertain birth plan. So i dont know really who to tell my favourable position to." Her answer? "Maybe you can try to give it to your obstetrics?" I just nodded but inwardly i was doing a mental eye rolling like, "HELLO???? Have u been listening to me??? ERgh!"


There's another class tonight for Admission, spousal support and video. I'm not going since there's no spousal support attending and i can't bear to watch a real video.


So there!


PS: Oh God i'm sooooooooooooooo soooooooooooooooooo extremelyyyyyyyyyy sleepyyyyyyyyyy. Please Lord let me have a good night sleep tonight.

So i was on leave the past two days. It was nice to get to sleep in and stay up late. hehe

The purpose of the leave was to springclean the room before the baby comes and prepare whatever other things it may need.

On Sunday, working for almost 3 hours, i managed to get a headstart to the spring cleaning clearing out the wardrobe. Now the tudung drawer is all nicely folded. It used to be in a BIG MESS i had to forage around throwing all out to search for a matching scarf every night and then dump it all backed in in sheer disarray. i threw away 1 big bag of old clothes (to be recycled that is).

Now that was out of the way, Mon i worked on the bag, books and toiletries section of the wadrobe. I even managed to empty one big section where files and bags used to be. Can put more baby stuffs in there. This resulted in two bags to be thrown away. one containing old bags and dustry paper bags that i dont care to keep any longer. This took me 1.5hrs

Now today Tuesday... is the best part of the preparation... SHOPPING. initially wanted to go to Jurong POint but we prioritised sleep so just ended up at causeway point. We went to just one shop ie Mothercare because Z was pressed for time. Thankfully the kind sales assistant allowed us to use my sister's membership just by giving her my sis' contact no.

These are the things we bought:

1. Changing Mat @ $6.93
2. BABY CARRIER (Mothercare brand with 3 ways) @ $80.10
3. BMilk Storage the plastic thingy Lansinoh brand @ 16.20 for 25pcs
4. Newborn Huggies 24pcs @ $6.93
5. 2 x newborn vest @ $11.70
6. Nursing bra @ $38

Total $170.93.

Am very satisfied with my buys. But did forget to buy another tube of Stretchmark cream and baby bedsheet.

I would say im almost completely ready for baby's arrival now, in terms of material save for stroller. As for everyday toiletries. Im hoping to use from hospital's sample for the first few days first.

Speaking of which... i will need an electric breast pump. I already have the manual one from my sis for the first few tryouts. But with my injured hand,i think i will NEED the electric one. Does anybody has one to LOAN or to sell???

Let's just hope i can be mentally and physically ready for the baby in a timely manner.

PS: Yayyy my boss said the temp will start this thurs!!

We arrived 2mins after 6:30pm.

Had to take off our shoes at the door. and sit on yoga mats. WOW!!! This is soooo gonna be hands on tonight. Zubair would totally NOT be bored.

True enough. The physiologist didnt even go thru slide by slide to explain the details of 1st stage of labour. Instead, she made it very interactive indeed.

First, we went thru the SIGNS of Labour:

1. A Show

- which is actually the mucus plug that's been keeping ur baby safe inside the waterbag (imagine a CORK) being expelled vaginally.

- colour is brownish red and is normally just one gush/spot.

- no need to go to hosp just yet.

- is different from bleeding (bleeding redder and steadier flow) in which case u HAFTA go to hosp.

2. Contractions

- As far as possible, try to labour at home. Wait till contractions are 10 - 15min apart before going to the hosp unless you can't cope with the pain.

- Where to go? Delivery Suite, 2nd Floor Women's Tower. Alternatively, can also go to Basement 1 and they will wheel u up but DONT go to the emergency room, it will take LONGER. How ironic!!!!!

3. Waterbag Burst

- Odourless colourless

- Different from urine leakage in terms of colour and odour. like Duh. And that if you contract ur pelvic muscle, it still flows means its waterbag (aka amniotic fluid).

- You have 2 hours from now to take a shower, pack ur bag and check in to the hospital's delivery suite. IMP: DON"T RUSH.

A new thing i learnt is that between the 1st and 2nd stage of labour, there is a transition stage where you will feel a strong urge to push but you're NOT ALLOWED to. This is because your cervix is not dilated yet and can cause trauma to the cervix and/or baby if you insist on pushing!

So what can you do to NOT Push? Do the Fu-Fu-Ahhhhhhh breathing technic. LOL. That is actually 2 short breath blows and a long one. Dont know what its actually called. But if you keep on doing this, you will find that you have no time to even think of pushing. Or so she said. Otherwise, i'd say JUST CLOSE UR LEGS lah! LOL Also, try to lie on your SIDEs instead of back to ease the pressure of baby on ur cervix.

While having contraction pains, its best to remain UPRIGHT for gravity to pull ur baby down naturally. But LEANING FORWARD will ease the pressure off ur lower back. You can be in this position while standing (facing and leaning against the wall, or ur back to the wall) or sitting at the edge or a chair or straddling it. Rocking ur pelvis right and left will also give a soothing rhythm.

Now... massages.... There are 4 technics that she showed us. I have no idea how to note them in words. So i just hope Z will remember them in his mind. The only thing i can describe are:

1. the massage is better done with no clothes in between to cause friction. Better still, use vegetable oil (for massage) for smoother flow
2. Do not rub the spine too hard else it may cause injury. Light ones ok
3. Tip to be good masseuse: Ask for feedback - too hard too soft?

We finished 45min earlier than scheduled! But that by no means we went home empty headed. I was really satisfied with today's lesson i can't wait for the next one. Oh if only Z could come for the 2nd stage and Labour Rehearsal class. Sheesh!

(Thank god the chilled goat meat didnt give off any embarrassing smell.)

18th Feb 09


Weighed in @ 67.6kg.


And that was after having lunch too! 5 weeks ago i was 66kg. I'm Soooo happy. I was afraid i'd go more than 70kg but i still have another 5 weeks or so to go so who's to say what can happen from now till then!


We waited for some 45min but only saw the doc for 5. Furthermore, it was a MALE doctor! Lucky Zubair didn't mind. While waiting i went thru many many times in my head of all the list of things to say / ask:

1. Z's blood test result from last check up
2. Why am i having rashes on my thigh? It cant be the stretch mark cream nor aloe vera cream i've been using cos i've used it a lot of time before. Could it be Bed bug? Lol
3. What are the things i should pack to hosp?
4. Who should i give my birth plan to?

He was in soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo much of a hurry he made me feel... outrageous to be imposing on him questions he didnt have time for. But i didnt manage to weasel 2 answers out of him.


Ans to No 1: All ok
Ans to no 4: We dont entertain birth plan. (he even managed to smirk when i said i wanna try without epidural.)


He was in such haste to dismiss me that 3min later as i was waiting to make payment, the nurse had to call me back in. She said, "Doctor wants to ask you about your Blood sugar level." Bah! At the rate he was going, Of course he would miss A LOT of things to check! He recorded down my latest reading and said its still not so bad.


Because we didnt have an ultrasound scan done that day, he examined my tummy. and by examine i mean just stick the doppler ON my tummy, got the heartbeat and Done. Had to wipe my tummy on my own! Even poly wasn't as bad as that! They had attendants to help us clean up.


I didn't care and just interrupted his washing ritual and asked, "Where's the baby's head?" Carelessly he replied, "Down lor." As if i was such a duffer. Fortunately he was responsible enough to come back, have a feel and confirm, "Yeah there. can feel the hard head down there." And he had to wash his hands again. HA ha.


The reason i asked is because i've been feeling the kicks and stretchings on my sides and showed the gynae where. To that he said, "Yeah that's the correct place lah. If you feel the kicks below, then that's a breeched baby." Ahhh ok at least i actually LEARNT something.


In reflection, I can laugh at myself. I'm a Sengkek (stingy person) who demands for Private-class treatment. How can! *shake head*


At the payment and appointment counter, i asked if i can request for an additional ultrasound even tho the doc didnt order for it. The nurse asked me what kind of scan i want. Er... how many kinds are there? I just wanna see my baby and know how much he weighs! So i just shoot with,

Me: A Growth Scan?

and got reprimanded,

Nurse: For what you want a growth scan? U already did it what.
Me: Yeah but that was like 5 weeks ago
Nurse: Aiyah no need lah. Anyways there will be another one at 37 or 38 weeks.
Me: Which is like this next appointment.
Nurse: *faltered* But in any case, the doc didnt order for it. But he will lah for the following appt, dont worry.
Me: *MENTAL ROLL EYES*


So 2 weeks from now is actually 4th March. I requested for a day earlier. 3rd Mar!! Which is our anniversary!! Fancy going to the hosp on my bday and anniversary. =D *beaming*


After that was appointment with the dietitian.


She reviewed my readings and said hmmm quite ok but noted the highest ranges for after lunch and after dinner. She almost empathized with my situation when i said its getting more and more diff to control the urge.


She saw that i had some fast food and choc milk. While she was fiercely adamant that i CANNOT ABSOLUTELY take Choc milk, she also listed some of the fast food items that i can take. And some of the things are Thin Crust Pizza of Hawaiian, curry chix flavours, meat lovers but only 2.5 pieces of the LARGE size. Hey that's MORE than i can eat anyways. =) Fillet, nuggets and DOuble Cheese burger are also ok. In fact, i can still add 1 fruit serving along with it.


The irritating part tho is Z told on me, the kaki paoto (however u spell it)!!! He told the dietitian i still eat sweet stuffs and only just now bought Kuih tart. I mean c'mon i only ate 1 piece! Teehee... i know i know he's absolutely right, i have been having the sweet stuffs. but IT'S REALLY HARD OK TO BE DEPRIVED! At least, i can still say i have some control about it. As in, i dont eat them as freely as before, surely. Humph


It was 5pm by the time we finished with our appointments. Next is our Antenatal class @ 6:30pm. We managed to squeeze in dinner and a quick visit to the temporary Tekka Wet Market for Z to buy his darling GOAT meat.

1. FC's assistant has tendered her resignation.


NOBODY, i tell u NOBODY can stand the FC lah. She has no qualms raising her voice or talking DOWN to even the CEO. ESP if she detects weakness / niceness in that person ie pple like me.


Because the asst hasnt yet finished probation period, her notice is only for a week! and we, the girls, are having lunch together later today @ secret Recipe.


It would be a happy gathering full of gossips. But for a very sad reason. We will have one less fun colleague to work with. *CRY CRY CRY*


Fortunately for her, she's found another job already


2. But we have a new French guy who started yesterday.


Both the boss and office mgr are not in, so me and the other French guy had to help out with orientation? I surprised myself by making fluid conversation with him asking How he's settling here in Spore after the weekend? He said they have trouble adjusting to the warm weather after coming from -1 degree in Paris! Their 8 month old baby is taking it badly. Coincidentally last weekend was unusual HOT for Feb.


His work station is right next to mine. So i get to hear a lot of French. It feels a bit odd cos i've always been surrounded by ladies. Also, he's rather tall so can peer into my cubicle just by craning the neck. Hmmmmm...


3. The IT guy asked me, "Are you pregnant?"


LOL... im amused that some pple still cant notice my preggy tummy immediately. Granted, he's only seen me sitting down. Yesterday he asked me to take a look at the copier why the print out is not coming.. unconsciously i rubbed my tummy to soothe the baby's kicking, that's when he noticed.


After that he was allll for excusing me from doing "heavy stuff" but i kept saying "No lah its ok no prob at all." He wont even let me stand. LOL.


No wonder my friends missed being pregnant. Pple mostly always give in to us. Like that time i was arranging to go out with a single girlfriend and she said, "Ok anywhere that's easy for u lah." Of course easy for me is Causeway Point, but then it wont feel like really going out, so i chose town anyways.


Hopefully, pictures coming soon.

I boarded the bus to my antenatal class @ KK.

No. 57 single decker with only 4 seats on lower ground but ample space for standing passengers as well as wheelchairs. It was crowded.

2 Elderly Nyonyas boarded the bus somewhere from Fu Lou Shou Complex with bags of groceries. It had been raining and they had their umbrella sticks with them.

One of them was standing in front of me and suddenly raised her umbrella wanting to put it onto this empty panel as high as my ear level (remember i was sitting down) to my left. Somehow, she didnt quite get the aim right and actually poked my arm!!

I somewhat glared questioningly at the aunty as if to say, "HUH???" And she made a half sincere apologetic smile. I bet she didnt know i was pregnant and resented that i was sitting down. In retrospect, she could have hit my tummy by mere inches ok!!! Then Zubair would regret and feel guilty ALL his entire livelihood for not being there for me. HA HA HA... lol... Anyways, I didnt give up my seat because im selfish and i was afraid i'd fall. The driver was rather violent that day.

As i was about to alight, i almost almost almost wanted to tell this 40+ Malay guy to give up his seat for the aunties. Before i could muster enough courage, the bus had stopped and i alighted.

Wed 11th Feb 09

Again i was the first one in. The Instructor was a first timer - excited yet inexperienced. So the "lecture" was a bit boring and took longer time to finish.

Today is the overview of the whole process.

So there are 3 stages of labour

1. First Stage - Contractions

2. Second Stage - Delivery of Baby

3. Third Stage - Delivery of Placenta

Early contractions, the instructor told us, would normally come by the hour for 10 - 20seconds. But as time passes, It will come in shorter and shorter gaps yet more intense. Something like every 5 min that lasts for 1min.

To cope with the pain, it is good for the spouse or birthing partner to know where to rub the aching body parts, to learn the breathing and relaxation exercises which is the topic for next week's lesson. I begged and begged and begged Zubair to come for just this one most imp topic and he said ok he will try to arrange. Let's hope he could really make it.


I heard gasps when the instructor clicked for the next slide on 2nd stage of delivery. I was wearing specs but still cldnt quite figure out what the picture is but i quickly trained my eye on the drawing instead of the REAL picture before i turn jelly all over!


This is the part when she said that we will have the room to ourselves in the delivery suite with a couch for the spouse to rest. She reminded the husbands to bring along sweaters because it will be very cold in there. While they provide blankets for the mummies, they cant give for the guys.


She also said to make sure the husbands have dinner if it seems to be a long haul. This is because the shops near KK close very early... but i think Z will have no problem walking to Lil India where its a 24hrs food haven as we usually do after check ups.


The other thing is really Guys dont hafta show ur machoness. If you think you can stand looking at the blood, please dont look. Because if you faint, and worse if u knock your head after seeing the goriness of it all, nobody has the time to attend to you until AFTER the team has settled mother and baby.


Lastly, Birthing partners please have some rest in between contractions or when the wife is dozing off. Dont act so gung-ho else you might be too tired you'd miss the actual delivery. This has ever happened before!!


A new thing i learnt is the position of the perenium. All this while i thought its a horizontal cut when it is actually vertical. Its the space between the V and the Anus. *shudder* The nurse actually described how the docs will decide to cut or not. Its when the area is stretch too thin it would become so white and like about to burst. so before it cracks, better to cut it clean. Jelliness!


The actual Labour - where u start pushing i think - should take only between 30min - 1.5hrs. Any longer, the gynae will hafta think of some kind of intervention. Forcep, Vacuum or c-Sect. Even after she explained, i can't imagine how this forcep thing works. Do i dare to research more by googling for its image? Maybe not. Vacuum ok its a lil cup on the head on the baby that they will pull slightly to tug/encourage it out with the next contraction.


Next she explained the Pain Relieves available at KK Hospital. There are 3: Pethidine, Gas, Epidural.


Pethidine is a drug that they will jab at the thigh. Only relieves 60% of the pain and not advisable if delivery is expected within the next 3 hours. This is because this drug has effect on mother n baby such that both will become drowsy. And if Baby is borned within 3hrs after taking the drug, baby might be sleeping n not able to cry n exercise the lung. HOWEVER, there is an antidote to reverse this effect.


GAS to me seems the safest option. A mix of Nitrogen (if im not wrong) and Oxygen, u only need to breathe in deeply with the next contraction and it will be effective in 10 - 20 secs. No effect on baby.


EPIDURAL is the last resort with 100% of the pain gone. She said the procedure to get this epidural will take about 20mins or so... i was wondering what if there's a contraction in between??? Will the needle go astray when we squirm? You can actually choose to stop the epidural when u need to start pushing but u can also have it thru out. I sincerely hope i wont hafta come to this.


I had to ask my friend the next day how does the delivery suite look like. I had the impression that we would be delivering in a communal room just like a ward with 4 other pple inside! Cos i remember my mum telling me she could hear other women screaming. But maybe those were old times. So i imagined this suite is like for private patients and not for subsidised ones like me. Then how more private can a PRIVATE delivery suite be? *looks at Ma* hehehe


Also my concern is that, do i hafta continue covering my head? Doctors and nurses are excused of course... but i was afraid there might be some pple who got lost n peered inside... or if i would need to walk out to go to the toilet... My friend assured me tho that its all in the one room.


This friend also told me that she didnt hafta fork out any cash at all for her hospital stay even tho she had an epidural for the first one and a C-Sect for the second one. She also went thru Polyclinic like i am. Although i still have yet to confirm with the hospital, I felt sooooooo relieved! I'd take it to mean that even if somehow the rules have changed a bit, can't be too high.


I was told to prepare $2k or more just for hospital expenses. Some for deposit, and then additional charges that Medisave cannot cover and the fees escalate when u take more and more services.

Do i dare to breathe a sigh of relief? Ok just a bit. But still need to keep that money on standby lah! But at least im hoping there won't need to use it so i could spend it on getting more baby stuffs. Yayyness!!

During my first visit to KK Hospital back in Dec, i also signed up for the antenatal class, which Zubair was quick to say he doesnt need.

Their next class would actually end mid of March, too near my EDD. So the kindly officer put me into some make up classes so i cld finish earlier. Even then, i didn't start straight away. I felt the first 3 lessons were too... basic since im already quite far in my pregnancy. Recommended to start at Week 16 when im already Week 29?

So finally i went to the class yesterday covering the topic, PARENTCRAFT - Caring for your own baby.

....in my dreams!

I was brought to my school's old compound (another nightmare prone site in my mind). I can already see somebody holding my baby, but that is his spirit.

People around me were telling me to feel what's the baby trying to tell me... He seemed to be telling me that he's ready to go out but that he wants to be borned on the lawn of our reverred teacher who lives across the road. So i painstakingly walked over the few metres and delivered. Because I was in that compound, the reverred teacher "forgave" my labour pains and i didnt feel no Ring of Fire that i was waiting for.


Scary... seems like im on the verge of being shirik. *shudder* Worse is this guy came back into my life saying he was sorry that he was ready to accept me and baby. Huh?? How did he suddenly come into my unconscious mind?


Now in the office, pondering on the dream, i feel weird. And scared.

1. It just struck me that i'll be experiencing extreme labour pains in under 2months if im lucky. Having actually "delivered" the baby in that dream, i cant imagine the fear on the REAL DAY. Often pple described it as sooo painful you thought you were gonna die.


2. I've known this before already but it just slapped me on the face again as a result from this dream that after i gave birth, i hafta take care of this little person and i have no clue how to!! And im worried how i will take in this Overwhelming feeling of love.


I realise its not just about pretty clothes and cute faces. There will be a lot of pain and emotions going on. Nice though Butterflyrubric's latest entry about the anecdotes of her son's first week, it made me feel even weirder. Cos Im not used to loving nor taking care of anybody else more than myself. Haha. And i'm especially worried i'd be all alone, nobody cares enough to stay with me the whole entire time.

Everytime i yawn, cough and cry... i feel something is strangling my throat.

I can picture that when im at the peak of contractions, my throat will just close in on me and cut off the oxygen.

I'm deeply sorry my baby if i dont live to see you. I will pray people won't mistreat you and i dont doubt my family will take good care of you.

It was irresponsible of me to have conceived you when we were not stable yet, causing a slew of problems that have resulted in my current health and emotional condition. But believe me, I already love you a lot. Too much maybe that its clouding my decisions.

Just wanna let you know that i enjoyed watching u move in my tummy. Esp that day when u showed me your feet, remember? They really looked like a ball circling the edges of my tummy! And when i contract my tummy to get up from a lying position, i can see the shape of your body (altho technically its the waterbag)!

If Allah thinks its my time to leave, so be it. I resolve to be spiritually prepared for it though i'm already feeling suicidal anyways. Not enough to cut my own hand like somebody had alleged that i did, but enough to lose hope that things will look up. Nonetheless promise me, my child, that you will be His good servant.

I hope to meet you in Heaven. I love you.

It's sooo mendak (dull/boring) at work today. I'm nodding off to sleep.

Still in holiday mood. OM @ hospital waiting to be induced. Boss in UK.

Just got back from 3D2N of Melaka late last night. So very sleepy now. Would have posted pictures already but forgot my hp back at home.

No internet @ home till Fri.

and now as the title goes... If it were a holiday today... i would be:

1. Sleeping @ home
2. Watching a few DVDs
3. but mainly i just wanna stay in bed and watch my tummy move.

Baby has been a bit out of action all thruout my melaka holiday. Worried me so much. The minute i stepped on my country soil, he started his kicking already. maybe he was feeling too sombre to gear up any strength to kick me. Either that or he's not hungry enough to nudge me to eat since i was STUFFED thruout the vacation. LOL

1. Yesterday, somebody gave up her seat for me in the bus even though i was wearing my "normal" shirt. She even patted my hand and said, "Be Careful" when the bus jerked violently. I'm touched but that also means that i'm really SHOWING now.

2. I'm getting more heartburns now

3. The "Stretchings", as i like to call it, are getting more frequent and more... intense / powerful. His kicks are relentless!

4. I'm beginning to have stretch marks??? One night, Zubair pointed out that he could see mini stretch marks below my navel. I shrieked. Really??? i tried to peer down (while lying on the bed) but stretch my neck enough to see. I went over to the mirror but poor lighting hindered the "revelation". Is it true or is it just his imagination? hehe I started smearing MORE cream on it.

5. I'm only starting to get breathless. I'm a bit late i think cos i'm already into my 3rd trimester. I should have started feeling breathless more in 2nd trimester when the uterus moves higher up near to Ribs/lungs(??) but as i progress to 3rd trimester the baby should be descending down already pressing more to the bladder area causing more toilet visits instead of breathlessness. A bit lagging lah me.

But i especially feel uncomfortable trying to sleep. All positions are not soothing enough. I always sleep on my back but nowadays i feel and imagine like as tho the tummy is sliding up to my ribs. Lying on my sides are even worse. I will feel flutterings like as though the baby is fighting the gravity pull by threading water. hehehehe So u can imagine how ticklish it is.

No i'm not complaining. If anything, i can imagine why all my new mother friends miss being pregnant. I think i would too.