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Mummy "It hurts" Walk of Shame.

Two more incidents that make me feel like a fool of a mother.

FIRST INCIDENT


We were eating at KFC somewhere in JB and they had a mini playground with one of them single seesaws like the above picture. T wanted to climb it, Ayah guided him there but then decided against it when he saw it was too big for them. After awhile, I decided to let him go at it. Carried him to a sit and rocked the bugger and BAM! Tufeil's forehead hit the metal bar.

He threw his back and shook in extreme agony. It pained me to see him writhing like that. I managed to calm him enough to get him downstairs where my mum was. RED and BLUE BLACK circle was beginning to bulge.

I suddenly recalled Mak Ngah saying "Use ice". And I zipped to the counter and asked for ice and some tissues. I let my mum do the honour of pressing it against his bruise, though, while I tried soothing him. He kicked and wailed in pain.

In a few hours, Alhamdulillah, the swell reduced dramatically. This is his 3rd knock on the forehead. The last two times it took days to go away. And I couldn't help but imagine that if this was an episode of Desperate Housewives, they would have brought the baby to the hospital to check for concussion or something. But unfortunately, we are ordinary Singaporeans who don't bother with such things.


SECOND INCIDENT

This happened just two nights ago. A drop of MY shampoo fell on to his arms and right at that moment, Tufeil also rubbed his eyes using that arm. He began to cry and say "DAHHHH" meaning DONE that signals his wish to come out of the shower.

In my panic, I ran water from the shower head to his face to wash away the chemicals causing him to freak out even more. But he was also quick to brush me off. And i tried a couple more times, i feel, without success. He wouldn't let me wash it off! Now that I've thought about it, I should have used my hands to cup some water instead of sprays from the shower as he's frightened of that.

Managed to distract him with the sponge a few times but everytime the next second he would cry again. I looked at his eyes, no more suds but still a bit red. When he insisted to go out, i resigned myself to finish bathing quickly and go.

He calmed down much when we got to our room to dress up - playing a dvd on the computer helped lots to appease him. He also asked for his milk and i relented seeing what the poor dear just went thru. In 15mins, he drifted to sleep and it was only 7.30pm!

Tufeil still hadn't had dinner and I was afraid he would wake up crying in hunger in the middle of the night. Thankfully he didn't but still woke up every 2 hours for milk as is usual.

The worst part of this is I'm sure he's now developed a phobia of showering and that hit me BIG time after all the trouble I went to instill fun at bath time.




Maybe I should get this for him. Hehe

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Second Job

I think I need to start getting a second job.

Last week, at the end of Pay Day, I was left with $450 with another $340 of pending Giro payment still to be deducted. This is to last me the next 30 days. That means i have only $3 to spend per day (????). DIE. Because this month, I don't have any additional income coming in (Baby bonus, Insurance Cash Back, GST, Bonus), need to pull from my depleting reserves. AGAIN.

So the thought hit me, "Maybe I should start teaching again." The dough is not much but neither is it that much time consuming. If I get 2 classes on sat, I could prolly get additional $280. Tufeil is big enough to either play by himself or follow his Nenek and Atok out without being too much trouble.

As much as I love teaching IQRA' and I have a ready pool of students, the big question is still, "Do i want to have less time to rest/play with my baby?" The argument plays itself back and forth in my head countless times.

I can't seem to decide. Ok, I'll probably hold out till end of the year and review it next year in the hopes of getting a better paying job/huge increment.

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Tears

It was the first time in my motherhood career that I actually cried.

I was nearly midnight when I finally crashed on a Saturday night. Tufeil slept at 9.30pm. The whole night he has been thrashing around the bed, restless. So I had to pacify him every hour or so. I was prolly in deep sleep at 12.30am or so when he woke up again and i roughly rebuffed him but my handphone had to beep at that time and i checked the sms. Tufeil saw the light and started asking for it. At this point, I was SO FREAKING FED UP I just threw my phone on my table.

It made Tufeil VERY UPSET and he started WAILING and SCREAMING for that miserable handphone! I decided to be firm. I mean what the hell! Want to watch a video in the middle of sleep??? Tried to nurse him but HE cried "TAK NAK Daaaaaa" many2 times.

And then he let himself down from the bed and went to the door screaming, "NAK KUAR NAK KUAR NAK KUARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR" I totally had to shut myself off. Pretend I couldn't hear anything. He was really crying very very hard like I'm torturing him or something.

A thought occurred that maybe he's not comfortable in our room, so i read the proper doa's but we was still screaming. Then I had an inkling, "What if he has an infant instinct that something is wrong outside and I should go and look? Or he's asking for us to get out to save us?"

Nahhh. I brushed those thoughts away and insisted that I shouldn't give in! I read somewhere that spoiling your child is about giving in to ridiculous demands at the COST of others and this is surely ridiculous and at the cost of losing precious sleep time!

I tried to reason with him that nobody's outside and that everybody's gone to bed. He didnt take in any of it.

He was still pleading to me at the side of the bed while i lied down when he started hiccuping (?) / tersedu2. I couldn't stop my own tears from coming down. I'm soooo sorry my darling that I made you cry so hard. But I'm sooo knackered - although i know its my own fault for turning in so late - and I'm only trying to instill some kind of values in this incident?

So i tried to hold him. But he refused me! He was sitting on my tummy (me lying down) when he really hit me in the face hard. I was stunned and it seemed it stunned him to silence too. We were both quiet for a minute before I started nursing him and he was more than happy to.

I didn't cry about the sting of the slap. He's known to do that. But i started crying harder when i reflected on how selfish I was that I could lose my patience like that and made him cry like that. He's just a baby. He was probably uncomfortable coming down from a slight fever the day before and still having runny nose. I cried for the lack of parenting knowledge I have to make him a good person. I cried for the family situation we are in.

Mostly, I cried because I think it's due.

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18th Month Development

Tufeil has grown sooo much so fast in the last couple of months, it's so difficult for me to record it properly.

Let's see....

When he was just about to turn 18 months, he suddenly started stringing two words together. Eg: "Mummy baring (lying down)" "Nenek masak (cook)" "Atok tido". Ok on paper it looks great but he has a knack of omitting the first consonant in a 4 syllable-phrase. Kakak Nangis (Sister cries) becomes Kakak Angis. In this case its actually the 3rd syllable's consonant's that's missing. I can't for the life of me remember the actual incident that made me realise this.

But anyways, you guys have really got to hear him talk/babble. He now likes to say "Eh! Bus!" or "Eh! Train!" Sometimes he would even treat us with that cautionary A A AHHH that we always express to him when he's about to do something naughty/dangerous like slapping our face.

He kept watching these Wheels on the Bus cd and has taken to marching or drumming from an overturned pail, konon2 to the beat of the march lah. hehehe

I was surprised to learn that he could climb up the staircase on his own when I took him out for a walk in the neighbourhood. Granted it was only 3 steps up and supported by the side-railing. But this is coming from a baby who not a few weeks ago was reluctant to step down from a small raised platform in our house and opted to crawl or hand-held!

His memory is definitely developing. I read from Babycenter website that we should still play hide and seek to see if they can remember where their favourite toy is. But well, I don't hafta actively play such games to know. For example just last night, I gave him a bowl of Koko Krunch but took it away after he's taken one and put it on my table behind a lot of other stuffs. And he began pointing to it asking for more. Ok maybe this eg is not so good. I can't remember other instances right now.

A couple of his shoes are getting too small for him! Imagine that! I get to shop for him! Weee

I was sooo amused to see him scratch himself last night. He got some insect bites from playing kite in the open field last sunday. Usually, it never bothered him but this time he kept getting at it. Thankfully we have Ustaz Abdurrahman's Itchy Everywhere cream to help ease them. NOte to self: should wear insect repellent next time.


Besides loving to play with his pretend kitchen and baby, he also LOVES his football, basketball, golf balls, u name it! His main action is to THROW. Babycenter said my baby should know how to SORT and BUILD but he can't do no such things. Granted, I didn't really show him how much. Gave up after a couple of times. Just let him play his way lah. Let him explore things on his own. However, he DID manage to pull out two lego blocks which i stuck together.


It's quite difficult to keep his attention when I try to read with him especially library books which he's not familiar with. The distraction of the DVD and phone which he very much prefer over books doesnt help either. However, when things are quiet, like weekend mornings when I try to get a few more winks but he's already awake, he would pull out those books. He especially likes the 100 words picture book courtesy of his Aunty Zihah. He would always turn to the last page with buses and trains and taxi. Over time, I introduce new words even on that one same page. He knows "Uncle Police" now. LOL

If I'm not wrong, he now stands at 84cm and weighs 10.5kg.

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Kite Flying Sunday

17th Oct 2010,

We were free the whole day. So in the afternoon, my parents brought us to open field the little hill behind Singapore Sports School to try out Tufeil's Mini Kite.

We reached there 5.15pm and it was VERY HOT still and not many people were there yet. by 6pm, the bigger kite players were finally there. But unfortunately, not many kites could get into the sky and stay there. The wind was a bit flat yesterday. But we sure had fun with the one ball that we brought.



Wahhh macam Footballer sey.

The lone kite trying to make it up


Tufeil insisted on tugging at the tail.



View of the other side.


Well actually, Tufeil just ran around with his ball. Even made friends with a 2.5yr boy and his older sister. By that I mean just throw the ball at each other. He was not very interested with the kite. But Syifaa' was old enough to appreciate it and she ran and ran and ran and ran. Really, her energy was like boundless!
<

/div>
It was my first kite flying excursion. We should try again on a windier afternoon.

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Mambo GIAmbo Night

Fri 15th Oct 2010,

For those who had been following my tweets, this blog will answer a few questions as to what was really going on.

I took part in a singing competition organised by the acronym mentioned in the subject industry-wide. I did a duet with my new colleague covering Way Back Into Love, by Hugh Grant and Haley Bennett from the movie Music & Lyrics.

When I was there for the rehearsal with 19 other contestants, I finally realised that my chance to get to the final round for Top 6 positions is very slim as they were all very very good! We defly won't get high points for presentation. So I resigned to just having fun and at least not embarrass myself with a nervous voice.

And surprisingly, I was very calm on stage. I think it's a result of two things: 1. rehearsal ON the stage would pre-ampt you of how it's gonna feel like 2. Endless prayer (the Rabbish rahli...) I know i know it's nonsensical that I should pray to do well in something sinful. That's right. If my parents know about this, well they'll prolly kill me. Sorry I can't help it, I love singing so much.

video

My video

I was the 17th contestant to present and they followed my partner's surname. If it had been mine, we would hafta sing first, EYEWWW!!

Apparently, we were not good enough to get to the Top 6. I would've loved to show them what we could do with Killing Me Softly With His Song by Roberta Flack. But I also wonder how would I fare if I was alone.

video

This is my other colleague, Red's performance, singing You're Still You from Josh Groban

From the two practices we had together, I already told him that he'd defly make it to Top 6. and he did!! Was so proud of him. However, he only managed to get 6th Place with One In a Million You by Larry Graham for the Final Round. I think he could have done better if he had sung Mem'ry, instead. Oh well... the other contenders WERE very good and deserving. They really rocked the audience lor... dance moves, great song choices (upbeat kind) and costumes etc.

I'll miss this, i guess. But I should repent now. God forgive me.

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My First Office Party

Yesterday, I went to my first office party that's not organised by us.

I wanted to feel... honoured that my mgr was gracious enough to invite me along... but honestly, it was kinda dull. I mean, I don't know anybody really! Because I'm still very very green in the claims picture.

The food looks great but i don't eat most of them probably not being halal and all. It was lunch time and they were serving Breadstick size sandwiches with eggs or tuna or chicken and some French pastries. Roving around were waiters bearing a tray of oysters, salmon, prawn & orange, watermelon with dash of spices/sauce. The presentation was allll very elegent I must say.

The best part of that day, other than being able to get off work is getting to see other people's office! And this one's got a superb view of the river/port! Very clean colours and very open concept. I shaped desks as oppose to my L shaped one.

For the first few minutes, we were talking to my colleague's ex colleague and the host introduced themselves to us. It was interesting to listen but awkward to stand there trying to be invisible.

When our mgr drifted away, me and J decided to explore the office. That's when J decided to talk to two back-end ladies there and talked in their language for the next 90minutes or so. I listened trying to catch a word or two but after awhile, it got very tiring. Thank god I had a few calls (miracle!) to entertain me for a bit.

But don't get me wrong, do invite me again to these functions, please. hahahahha

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The Pump Has Retired

The pump that had served me for 18months has gone to retirement. It was quite accidental that day was.

I returned a bit late from lunch that fateful Tuesday 28th September 2010. So I thought, "Ok I can pump later at 3 or 4pm." But work caught up to me and I was engrossed doing something until I totally forgot about it.

The next day, I was busy too at work and afterwards I went out with my colleagues. It was close to 10pm when Tufeil finally drank from me. And I didn't feel anything with regards to soreness or what.

Even before these two days, I had been tweeting my thoughts, "Why the hell am i still pumping at work when Tufeil absolutely refuses to drink expressed Breastmilk?" Back then, I didn't wanna stop still cause I was afraid I might feel lost at work without anything "extra" to do. In honesty, it was a 20min reprieve from work.

But after those 2 days of lapses, I felt lazier and lazier and never touched my pump since! But I left the equipment here in the office. Just in case.

You know how I feel about it now? Liberated. I feel FREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE. hahaha

I had been planning to go to the gym during lunch time. But now the previous gym-going boss has left the company, I'm not sure what's the view of this new guy. PLUS, its gonna cost me $90 per month, so I'm still stalling.

But the next thing to look forward to is to totally wean him from Breastmilk so I can start taking slimming pills or whatever ya know.

By the way, I saw Desperate Hosuewives Season 2 Epi 15 or so a few nights ago and there was this lady who was BFing her 5 year old and claimed that she could still eat a lot of donuts and maintain a slim figure because of it. Well i say BS! It didn't work for me after 12 months! The moment Tufeil turned 1 year old, I started to steadily gain more and more weight till now I feel like a balloon. I feel worse when I look at pictures of my slim self from a year ago. T_T

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Tufeil's Children's Day

Last Friday, I didn't know Tufeil was out the whole afternoon till i reached home. "No wonder my office phone was quiet!" I thought. LOL

He went to a Children's Day party with Syifaa' and her cousins. Kesian Tufeil, menumpang kasih Syifaa' nye nenek Jah psl nenek dia lagi satu nunnnn jauh di sana.

"Abang" Tufeil and Adik Sofea


I was told there were a LOT of games going on. But the highlight of the day must be the POOL!


Who are you waving to, Tufeil?


Sempit lah pulak
(A bit cramped)

Sohail spraying T with water. Oops


The house is on the ground floor and so they just partied at the corridor. So FUN and carefree kan?!

>

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The Boy & Girl in Pink

EXTREMEEEEEEEE BUSYNESS at work at the mo!

So I shall post a quick picture from last sat:


Tufeil & Syifaa'


Tufeil is wearing yet another shalwar kameez from Pak.


We were going to a wedding and one open house. Unfortunately on the way to the wedding, Tufeil leaned on me so much i got my lip gloss all over his sleeves. Then when eating, he was struggling so much, we managed to dirty it. In the car, we changed to ordinary clothes.

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2nd Online Shopping

I have a project in mind: transferring ALL my pictures from Year 2006 till present (worth over 5GBs) from my work pc to my home pc.

I don't own an external hard disk nor any thumbdrive bigger than 1GB. It took me so long to go and buy it that I decided to do it the convenient way - Buy ONLINE!

Went to GMarket and scoured for the cheapest 4GB one at $21. and 3 days later, it arrived! WOW.


Dubious looking package made of an A4 paper. Not even a proper envelope?


Yellowed bubble wrap




Tadaaaa my handbag thumbdrive.
Paired next to a highlighter for size comparison.



I choose this design especially for the attached cap.
But I still maintain that I don't like shopping online, esp for clothes.

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Happy Children's Day

I haven't written much this week. Seems like I have a writer's block. Either that or it's just dull this week and also a bit swamped at work when two people came back from holiday and started clearing their To-Dos to me.

Anyways, we got cupcakes at work yesterday in honour of Children's Day!

Cute, aren't they??


Since I'm in the committee, I recommended Fyda's Bakeries who I ordered from for Tufeil's birthday earlier this year. We ordered 400pcs @ $1.40 (10 cent off for bulk order).

SEDAPP!! (Delicious). Not toooooo sweet, just right. Call Fyda @ 9487 4740 if you wanna order.

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