Raising Helen

When i read Miss Sue's Entry about not sparing the rod, i couldn't agree more.

As a child, i had wished that my parents were more stricter on me to mould me to a more god-fearing person. Although, of course, it could backfire but perhaps that's another story for another time.

I DO believe in rotan-ning / caning my children for bad behaviour. And afterwards, explain to them why what they did (and not they themselves) are bad and/or wrong.

Zubair, on the other hand, ever told me a couple of times, "You are not to lift a hand on our children." Or something to that effect. Prolly because of the harsh upbringing and constant punishing (not by Ammi) he and his brothers faced through out their childhood.

However, the golden question is: DO I HAVE THE HEART TO HIT THEM?

As it is, i have always been gentle to all my young students and of course my darling niece, Syifaa'.


Never even raised my voice on the girls. I was always their friendly and cool (haha) older sister, laughing and joking with them, tickling them when they're not revising. But i felt, it was so much so that they somehow took me for granted. "Ah its ok... Sis Julissa is nice. She wont scold us if we jump on the couch, if we go answer the phone, if we talk amongst ourselves, if we stare on the wall dreaming..."


As for Syifaa'.... If she wants highlighter, i give her... if she wants that salty crackers, i let her. If she cries, i let her be. If she screams for her Aa Ba Aa (Learn Arabic DVD), we all hafta put it on for her (which is good lah)... But we give in to her ALL the time, im so afraid it might spoil her like it had spoilt me (probably).


On the other hand, i can't imagine EVER ever EVER hitting them EVER.

Maybe the trick that my sis did is good. She brought Syifaa' into the room and gave her a viewing of the ROTAN (cane/stick/feather duster) by hitting on the bed, on the floor, on the wardrobe and everywhere else except on her body itself.

So now everytime we say, "See the rotan? U want the rotan?", she would immediately stop wailing or throwing tantrum and submit to the task at hand, be it to go for shower, stop eating chocolate, dont climb the chair, screaming for no reason etc etc....

Neat trick huh.