The Morning After....

(Firstly, thanks you guys for your congratulations and well wishes. Simply can't afford to thank everyone indvdly. I'm so bad! In any case, let me tell you about the first day I actually played the role of a mother.)

.. Not really your average morning after. LOL.

After the delivery at 0118 of 27th Mar 09, Baby was cleaned up, i was stitched up. OMG!! THe placenta was HUGE! I didnt know it would look that big i tot just a small bag...

5mins after the delivery, Zubair was soooo excited he straight away called Ammi in Pakistan to let them know. well.. ok it was only about 10pm + over there. I have no doubt that if they could hook up with the internet over there, we would have done a video call! Since it was too early in the morning, i only called my mum to deliver the good news. =)

After that, Zubair rushed to 7-11 to buy honey as its their practice to give newborn baby a taste of something sweet as the first thing they ate. Very unfortunately, they didnt sell any. He came back to tell me so. I, on the other hand, was insisting that he read the Azan and Iqamah in the baby's eaves (ears?) first. So he decided to walk all the way to Mustafa to get that honey. So sweet.. ANd told me not to give him anything first.

Then a nurse came to show me how to breastfeed (hereafter known as BF). I asked the nurse if we could wait till after Zubair came back but she said they have a targetted amount of time to turnover patients who've already delivered. Another reason was also because that due to Gestational Diabetes, they were afraid if baby's blood sugar might get too low if we dont feed him ASAP.

When Z came back and realised what's happened I could really see his bright face fell. It was soooo sad. But i cldnt do anything about it. Thankfully, he puckered up quickly and did the necessary with the honey.

So i was wheeled back into the normal ward @ 4+am. Poor Zubair was shooed away by the fierce Aunty of a nurse. And as tired as he was, he took the train back home, the dear, to take a shower and some nap.

Me. I couldnt sleep. I was sooo excited! I kept running thru the day's events in my head so i would remember and that when pple visit i could easily churn out the summary! LOL. Finally i fell asleep and got awoken for bfast @ 9am. I heard the nurse telling my neighbour how they encourage mothers to bf every 3 hours. Hmmm my last feed was 4am+ but they never gave me my baby? I was told it was bcause he was still under the warmer. Ergh! So mean!

So i was alone in the hosp, Z went home and mummy wont be there till after 12nn. SO i cleaned up and had bfast and soon after, baby was sent to me for feeding. Yayyy... Alamak! How to do this? I thought. I called the nurse in to help me.

In the middle of my first real BF lesson, 3 of my colleagues came by!! Luckily they were ladies so i invited them in. It was diff. My main problem at that time was that I was still scared and not confident of how to carry a newborn!

Soon after that, my parents, the maid and of course, Syifaa' came. Phew. What a relief! I would need lotsa help to fetch things or whatever bcos with the epidural effect gone, i was really in pain.

After lunch, tried BF again.

THen my guy cousins and the aunty came.

Then 3 of the 11 Bestfriends came. They were such angels showing me how to get baby to latch on, giving tips on the optimal position to use... However, i noticed that everytime he's latched on comfortably he would straight away fall asleep!! THe nurse said this is normal just hafta tease him awake. Aiyoyoo...

After the girls had left, There was a short window for me to nap in between guests and feedings so i did for an hour.

Then Taufiq's mother and grandmother came.

I got caught in an embarassing look when Zubair's Pakistani friends came by. Both times just as i got out from the loo! But the young group of 3 guys n 3 gals from NUS caught me by surprise. DO u know that i actually brought my make up bag in preparation to meet them? That's how insecure i feel. haha. BUt they caught me offguard and some more they snapped my photo and posted on facebook! One thing's for sure, i felt a bit relieved that Zubair's got his dose of Urdu speaking visitors. Otherwise, he looked forlorn amidst the Malay talking relatives.

After that, Fatma, both mine and ZUbair's friend came by. Unfortunately, Zubair was already out for class at 8:30pm. But we had no problem entertaining her, she being friendly and all that. Even my aunt and cousins talked to her. And that was the last of the visitors.

Actually we'd returned the baby to the nursery but shortly after that when everybody's gone, the nurse came back with Tufeil saying its feeding time. I didnt wanna keep disturbing the nurse to help me, so i picked up the courage and braved the pain to carry my baby all on my own and BF him some. That's when i truly heard his breathing was real loud like how ASh had observed. WE thought it was normal since i am a heavy breather also.

Zubair came and was again, shooed away. The nurse asked if i would like to send back the baby to the nursery cos i look dead tired - its the panda eyes. I hesitated but succumbed to it but stressed the importance of cup feeding and NOT bottle feeding so as not to disturb baby learning to BF.

At 2am, i was woken up. The Paed on duty came by to tell me that there's something wrong with my baby! He's respiratory rate was on the high side, he kept crying and vomitting. He asked if the baby's been feeding well. I told him Hmmm maybe not so cos everytime he latched on, he'd fall asleep. THe doc sighed and said, yeah that could be another sign. BUt what could it mean?, i asked. He said its probably an infection and they would do some blood tests and put him on antibiotics. THey need to bring my baby to the Special Care NUrsery. ANd i said ok.

I was groggy then. But after a few min, i realised im gonna miss him so rushed out to see him before he got sent away but could only see the balloon (COurtesy of his dear Aunty Noll) in his cot walking away!! I cldnt help but cry!! THe nurse assured me that its ok... its better that they do the observation now while we're still in the hosp and soon rather than later. I told the nurse my concern is about BF. HOw do i feed him now? She said ok dont worry tmrw we will give you the pump to express the milk.

I immediately called ZUbair to tell him and he took a U TUrn back to the hosp. I got really upset when he got angry at ME for what's happened to the baby. Like HUH??? So i just kept quiet and let him cool down. In the meantime, i was burning inside and suddenly burst into loud sobs. SOrry neighbours, i cldnt help me. Was really hormonal and emotional.

Trying to do something for Tufeil so i rang for the nurse to get the pumping eqpt. i tried and nothing came out! STRESSED STRESSED. Cld hardly sleep all night. When i did, both times i had nightmares. FUnnily enough not about the baby but the father! haha.

Saturday 28th Mar 09.

I am discharged today. But i didnt feel like gg home WITHOUT the baby. When i awoke at 9am, i nudged Z to bring me see the baby (he's seen Tufeil the prev night already). When we got there, we were told that the doctors were doing their rounds and to come back at 11:30am.

Back at the ward, the nurse invited me to see a BF video and attend the discharge briefing. I was really confused to go or not. Cos i was feeling really down. Z kept blaming my lack of proficiency in BF to be the cause of the problem so i wasnt about to be told some more that ive been doing it wrong. I took some time to think and joined the video a bit later having concluded that this should be the best time to ask Questions.

The kind NUrse Faridah reassured me that its ok, just continue to massage and express 3 hourly even tho nothing comes out. When baby's back and get a suckle, INsya'Allah it will be there.

TO be continued....

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4 glasses of Juice:

widzgeek said...

Don't worry Jus, its not ur fault lah.. but I hope baby will be back soon! Just keep massaging like I told u.. and pump je, cos mcm the baby's sucking effect, insyaAllah slowly the milk will be produced...

nadia said...

Oh Jus, I'm sorry to hear about Tufeil not feeling well. May Allah bless him with a speedy recovery, Ameen.

Sandra said...

Don't worry that you are doing something wrong with the BF. Guys think that it is a natural thing that automatically happens. So is walking, but we don't start out knowing how! Many mothers have felt stressed about it but take time and develop that special relationship with your child.


The 6 of Us said...

Salaam dear, just found out you've given birth, big congrats to you! Hope baby will get well and be discharged soon (if not already) and that its not a serious infection (do you know yet what infection it was, hope its not a strep b infection or something, na'uzubillah, but then the dr would have tested you for this a few weeks before you reached full-term). Anyway, don't worry about the baby falling asleep while suckling part, that's very likely the effects of the anaesthetics used during the delivery, so should wear off later. All the very best to you! Keep us posted k.