At last, I'm officially Divorced.
We separated ways on 12th May 2009 when Tufeil was 6 weeks old. There were attempts to reconcile but it fell through. I recall a few people dropping comments on my blog asking how come I didn't write about Z anymore. I didnt really answer directly to the point because at that juncture, it was also not clear to me whether the marriage would last or otherwise.
It took about 6 months to go through the registration process and counselling and to reach the Filing of Summons stage. And then I ignored that and the case was automatically closed. I reopened it abt a year ago. Had to go through all those again. and after filing of summons was the mediation. Alhamdulillah, we were able to get to an agreement on maintenance for the child and mine as well as custody in one session.
Filing of Summons was about $35 for both parties. Mediation $135 for plaintiff, in this case, me and $35 for defendant.
I won't dwell on my reasons for this divorce. Suffice to say that he uttered the Talak (divorce) and there were a huge communication breakdown and trust issues and that his only reason was because of my family.
It is ok if you think I deserve it. It is ok if you think it's my own doing for being so naive and got married after 6 months of knowing a guy online. I'd like to think that I've come out of this more matured. I've become a responsible mother/person (albeit still a lazy and uninspired one but hey, I've started cooking and cleaning, that's HUGE!).
The most annoying part about being separated/divorced is people assuming you're happily married. I have had complete strangers asking me "When are you having a second one?" and a cab driver "Wah you go out alone with your baby ah? Your husband never follow you ah? Wah so good are you. you let him sleep at home." Most of the time I don't care to explain that I'm separated/divorced because it will inevitably lead to insensitive questions like, "Oh what happened?" And then... "Oh im sorry..." God! It's like a broken record.
I don't miss him at all. In fact, believe you me I'm very much happier from the moment he left. All the worries and heartaches just poofed into thin air the moment I decided I no longer care. However, I do miss being loved and taken care of. God knows it has been more than just those 2 years of separation. I am not entirely certain the right guy is out there for me. But, a girl can dream.
Most importantly is I have sole responsibilities of bringing up Tufeil to be a good muslim. It won't be easy but Alhamdulillah for the good support system I have. I may complain a lot but without my family and friends, I'd've prolly turned crazy by now.
Nowadays, I live one day at a time. One paycheck to the next.
I'm FREE
Jackie Chicken
This recipe is courtesy of Bridget from Twinisms.com Original Recipe post here.
I bought the cream cheese like... a month ago but had been procastinating cooking it because I was lazy to convert the measurement to something I know. I thought it might be difficult or Tufeil might not like it because it's using chicken breast (I prefer Boneless Skinless Chicken Legs). Turned out its the total opposite!!! It's soooo nice and easy to make!!
Ingredients
1 8 Oz. Package Cream Cheese, softened
1 Can Cream of Chicken Soup
4 Chicken Breasts, cooked and cut into cubes
1 Sleeve Ritz Crackers, crushed
4 Tbs. Butter, melted
Pepper
Combine the cream cheese and soup until mostly smooth.
Add in the cubed bird hooters.
Combine the first 3 ingredients. Place them in a lightly greased baking dish.
Combine the melted butter and crushed crackers in a bowl and pour on top on this chicken.
Just throw it in a 350 degree oven for about a half hour and you’re done!
I had about 300gm of chicken fillets... so decided to halve everything else as well. Hentam bocai! (Anyhow)
Firstly, I cooked the chicken. Do you know that I had to email the author on how she cooked the chicken! LOL! I'm such a novice! I decided to steam the chicken instead because that's the easiest way I know how. Before that I rubbed it with some worcestershire sauce and McCormick's All Seasoning... I don't think it made a diff though. and then instead of cubing, i shredded them.
Tufeil insisted on "helping" me |
Just before entering the oven |
He ate the rest of the soup using bare hands!!! Had to change pajamas! |
I had a taste of this after Tufeil was asleep, and it was HEAVEN! The smell when it was baking was also delicious!!! The texture of the chicken make me think i was eating cheese! hahaha... I think I would serve it with my mashed potatoes or macaroni and cheese. I just this could just be my next specialty other than the beef meatloaf!
2nd Time @ Fidgets
Sunday, 24th July 2011
Bored again. After Tufeil's nap, we went out for lunch at LJS. He was a good boy that day as he didn't make a big fuss about having to sit down for long (30min). I decided to try that indoor playground at Turf City again. This would be our 2nd time the first one being before he was even 1yr old!! He took a cab there. Again Tufeil was quite ok during the wait in queue.
Don't know why Tufeil loves this section of the playground |
Hmmm Quite persistent in getting what he wants |
He's scared of the holes. Is this normal? |
Don't you know it (Jgn tak tau...) I'm so thick I couldn't get past one of the barriers! *BLUSH* And then there was one time Tufeil accidentally went down the swirling slides on his own before i was prepared and he got kinda stunted! Then we went to an open one, we went together he was okay even though it was very steep. The next time he was so excited he went down on his own again and bumped his head backwards. After that, he was really scared to go down again. He went down the same way he got up while i rode the slide. What bad timing because tmrw he's going to AMAZE @ Jurong playground with the school!!
At the kiddy section, Tufeil showed some unfavourable behaviour of not wanting to share the toys =( I had to bribe him with ice cream to make him let it go. And then he started crying when the one cup had finished and i didn't let him have more because it was time to go home. I had to carry him for a bit.
Had to wait 20minutes for the free shuttle bus to come, so we went looking around in a kiddy shop.
Tufeil soothing a crying Jap-Caucasian girl |
Thankfully, he was willing to walk again at the walkway from the mrt to our house. And then he suddenly made friends with these 3 big kids, running around on the field playing catch. It's so nice seeing him be so outgoing with other kids and how other kids are also willing to entertain him. The language was a bit difficult though. The big kids could only make out "No more kite" from what Tufeil had been chattering about in English & Malay mixture.
Sameer the Bhai "Kentot"
Sat, 23rd July 2011.
So boring today my parents and 2nd sister's family went to Malacca for 1N. Luckily, Tufeil woke up only at 11am so that's like half a day gone. And Ash was not working that day so we went out for lunch at Breeks.
Afterwards, I managed to squeeze in a visit to Nisa and Sameer the Bhai just for fun. Also because there's a direct bus to her house, it's easy. The not so easy part was, Tufeil fell asleep just 5min before destination so I had to carry him... add to that, I alighted one bus stop earlier so I hafta walk further. (Arms still aching.)
Tufeil was amused by Sameer's Cars Bedsheet. Thank you Nisa for the lovely green banana custard which T loved.
Tufeil's First Racial Harmony Day
20th July 2011,
One Tufeil's first week of sch, he had international Friendship Day where he donned his shalwar kameez.
Yesterday was Tufeil's first Racial Harmony in school and he wore an Arab (Moroccan? Nigerian?) jubah courtesy of his grandma from when they went for Umrah.
Ustaz Tufeil? teehee |
Need to wear pants inside |
Alamak, posing sey |
Carousel with Besties WITHOUT HANDBAGS!
Sat, 16th July 2011.
By handbags, i meant children. LOL.
My besties had been looking forward to this day for close to 2 months since the idea conceptualized. Me, I cldn't see anything beyond my D&D just the night before.
Initially, it was supposed to be a baby-free weekend as my parents wanted to go to Malacca and bring Tufeil along since I would be out late. Unfortunately, after the first trial, my mum decided NO MORE because she had a backache after Tufeil slept on her chest 4hrs straight at night.
In any case, this is the first time in history that we are meeting sans the babies and husbands. For the occasion, we've got a private function room at Carousel for hi-tea. Highlights of the afternoon were:
1. A 3min updates around the table
2. A $10 mysterious exchange gift and to guess the giver.
3. A door gift consisting of 11 $1 items. Also to guess the givers.
4. Oh, and of course, FOOD! LOL!
As I was sooo busy organising D&D the whole month, I cldn't think of what gifts to buy until the day itself. I decided to go out early and hunt something at Orchard. Bad idea seeing that i hate Orchard very very much. I mean what decent $10 gift can you find at ION. Nothing apparently. I ended up at Borders and got a $9.95 fancy paper bag. I almost wanted to give up on the optional door gift until I was at the cashier and saw $1 Borders enviro-bag and grabbed 11 of them surely getting curious looks from fellow patrons behind me.
Anyways... PICTURES NOW!! It was sooo nice having a designated photographer (who is quite shy herself) so that my own face would be in a handful of shots. Thanks, Ti for your efforts!!1 Sorry we didn't take much photo of you.
The room. Gorgeous High Back-ed chairs. Felt Royal indeed |
Yummy Yummy |
We were supposed to get all the food that we wanted and be seated (and to stay put) at 4pm for the so called highlights of the event.
The Goodie Bags |
Various Gifts |
There's even a personalised sticker on each bag! |
My Gift from Nan! *SNIFF* |
All of us being V-ain |
I think my dress tdy was definitely "fancier" than the one I wore to the D&D last night. Aiyoooo
Customised magnets!! How awesome is my friend, Ti, who made this!!!! |
2hours flew like nothing at all! We didn't even have time to play a simple "orientation" game. My mum suggested that we should go to Asian Market Cafe next time since its buffet actually starts from 12 and ends at 5pm.
It's nice to be an adult once in awhile. Because every other time I met my friends with Tufeil, I always ended up playing with the children with not very much words exchanged my with own friends.
Despite my jovial exterior, I would prolly end up a loner if not for these 10 girls and their efforts. Bcos I'm really not good at keeping friends. I'd rather shop alone, watch movie alone, eat alone (w my book); I don't keep in touch with people, only reply when being msged, that kinda thing, ya know?
Next gathering, iftar in a month's time.
Le Masquerade
Fri, 15th July 2011,
After months of preparation, the night finally came and gone. Phew~
But what I don't get is why everybody kept saying it was a good night, everything went smoothly? To me, it was the worst D&D ever and everything went wrong for me!!!
Firstly, after spending $97 at Dorothy Perkins for what i thought was a great dress turned out to be a very dull and drab (cotton sundress) amidst all the shiny and glittery dresses of my peers. SOB SOB SOB.
See! I was the dullest looking! Dgn tudung yg berserabai! |
YIKES!!! And I did really really terribly at the singing competition, damn it! There were 8 contestants. I identified a few good ones. I reckon it would be a tough fight among the Top 3. As it turned out, The Idol prolly got about 50% of the votes, 2nd place got about 37.% while i got 12.5%. Judging is based purely on audience votes.
Don't get me wrong, i'm very happy for the winner. She has a very very sweet voice. My angst lies on my poor performance at the most crucial moment. Gosh. I still squirm when I think about it, when I watch the video. VOMIT VOMIT! I feel sooooo utterly embarassed! It's prolly only thanks to my loyal fans (The Recclubbers, My dept, The Halal Table and this one other table) that I managed 3rd place.
I guess the event itself went quite smoothly. For example: there were no screw ups at the Registration Table making a long line of Queue like last year's. But what the non-organisers didn't see were:
1. One of the pre-event activities, Air Brush Tattoo, came super duper late.
2. And then I don't know why we started about 30mins later than expected that we had to scrap a couple of the emcee games to make up for it.
I know plans are just plans... just don't word it as something it's not.
First Free Weekend EVER!
At the last minute, my parents decided to bring Tufeil along to their 2D 1N Port Dickson holiday cum wedding invitation for the weekend.
Of course, I was totally elated! This is my first ever free as a bird weekend! Let me see what did I do...
Sat, 2nd July 2011
Woke up at 7.30am to get Tufeil dressed. Watched an episode of Grey's Anatomy and back to bed from 10.30 to 2.30pm. It wasn't really refreshing bcos I kept getting nightmares of waking up late for my 4pm appointment. You know the kind where u though you've woken up but realise you're dreaming and your body is still on the bed?
4pm - Eye and face treatment at NYS.
6.30pm - Library. Found 4 of Mary Janice Davidson vampire queen's novels
7pm - Dinner @ Breeks with my books and beautiful Ice Cream Crumble. I had to specify to them that I want more crumble because the last time it was pitiful!
8pm - 10pm Changed bedsheet, vacuumed and mopped the house.
10pm onwards - watched more grey's anatomy and played SuperMarket Mania 2 while streaming the video (WHY SO SLOW NOWADAYS SINGTEL?!?!!?!?!)
11.30pm - ZZzzzz
Sun, 3rd July 2011
Had to wake up early (9.30am) because I have a singing practice at 10.45 at my friend's place. Followed by TRANSFORMERS
Urban Bites Part 2
2 working days after visiting this mediterranean restaurant for the first time, we decided to come back and try other stuffs.
Moutabal $7 Lebanese bread $3 for 3 halves |
Their Snack - Chicken pide $5 |
Ash's Beef Shawarma. She couldn't eat it and traded with me |
I had to dissect it and picked my way thru it |
I guess, we're all not foreign-tongued after all~ haha.
Cookie Time!
Sat, 25th June 2011
Tufeil was so happy when I announced that we'll be making cookie. He was prolly excited to be eating the dough again! He tasted everything every step of the way. Even the butter and sugar mixture he said nice. *shake head*
Like an Indian boy w face paint |
Should I be worried of bacteria?? |
Yummm |
We don't have a kiddy table. So on the floor it is |
Difficult to take it out |
Tufeil's dough pressed over and over |
He kept insisting to play with MY dough! Cheh. And he kept breaking my nicely cut-out but fragile elephants and bear! He didn't eat much of the dough this time around prefering to break them to tiny little pieces and scatter them around (outside the newspaper lining)! *heart pain trying to clean the mess*
But we did have fun. Hope to do it again when Syifaa' is around. And this time i think i should put T on the high chair to limit his destruction!
I picked a recipe from here but the dough was too soft i added some more. and even after baking double the time required, it didn't brown (as i like them). A few more minutes and it came out brown. And hard. but edible for adults and tasted very nice =)