A Tribute to Ayah

Ayah is one of the words in Malay to mean Father.


Other words are Bapak, Abi (ok technically it's Arabic), Baba, Pak.....

My Dad. Adam Bin Mohamed Amin was born on 10th July 1953.

Ayah is a very silent person.. but yet funny as in crack joke funny. He had never once beaten any of us. But you can tell when he is angry. That is when his voice is stern or when his answers are one word answers or when you hear a lot of irritated sighs. Once or twice, he was angry for being late for maghrib prayer, then he drove EXTRA SUPER fast. We were quite scared in the car but didnt dare to breathe a word lest it would provoke him more.

I would say, i am the closest and the most pampered by Ayah. Even then, i still dont do enough for him.

When i was a little girl, i remember that almost every Sunday, he would bring me to the playground at Pasir Ris or some place, some 10 or 15min ride on the bike away from our old home in Tampines, prolly bcos my sisters were too "grown up" to play with me at that time. So Ayah took pity on me. hehe

For my 12th or 13th Bday, i asked for a roller blade. Ayah even let me choose which one i wanted. I think i chose the $210++ one, despite Mummy's disagreement, and for a good reason too. It's just a phase. And rightly so as i didnt use it much. primarily bcos, it's funny to be blading on your own, also i dont really know how to brake!!! hahahah

In short, he would, most often that not, say yes to whatever i want, whichever opinion i have. He would always side me that it irked my mummy. hehe and most of the time, to get my way, i always consult Ayah first to get the permission, say to go camping or whatever. And then i can just go to mummy and say, Ayah said ok. heheheheh


There was a phase in our family life when Ayah had long hair, listened to rock music n went to concerts while mummy wore tight but stretchable jeans and with scarves tied to the back (ie neck exposed). Back then, i was thinking to myself, Why i didnt have a more religious family, stricter parents? Bcos i felt embarassed when at Sec 2 or age 14, i still havent finished / khatam reading the Qur'an partly bcos i wasnt sent to any religious classes / ngaji; and that i didnt know the stories of the prophets nor the sahabats (Prophet Mohd's companions). i didnt know a lot of doas also, esp the one after u finish a session of Qur'an reading.


But Alhamdulillah, praises and thanks to the Almighty Allah, who has bestowed on our family, or at least my parents, His rahmah and guidance. He is now active in tabligh / spreading the word of Islam. He is always going to the mosque for jemaah prayer. He had even gone to China and India for a month each (in diff years) in the course of knowing Allah and oneself. Occassionally, He urged us to join a session for the ladies. im ashamed to say that this time around, it was I whose faith was not strong enough, who was reluctant to go. But sometimes we obliged to appease him.


What triggered this entry was my "meeting" with mummy and ayah just last sat night. Mummy said, "u dont hafta listen to whatever i said earlier, but just think... Ayah had always conceded to whatever u said or wanted to do. But why is he saying No to you now?"


Then afterwards, Ayah recalled that time when i was accepted to a Tahfiz Uni in KL with full scholarship but i turned it down. His friend told him, "Haji Adam, you have made a wrong decision. You should have forced your daughter to go to that school." And I told him that yes, i have long since regretted not going for it too. *sob*


At another instance, he told me also that he was dead worried when he was away in China. He would wake up in the middle of the night crying for me. It was bcos i said something like, with my father away in China, nobody is on my side at home. it was the time when all the girls really really despised my relationship with the first BF. i still dont know why they felt that way, but im glad it turned out the way it did anyway.


My point is, i didnt know i could make such an effect on/to (?) my father. What an ignorant daughter i was!


As my wali, all my beaus wouldn't fail to say that my father is a good man. They always reminded me to listen to or discuss with my father first, before anything. Zubair has great respect for him. Ok some of his actions might contradict to that claim but all the same, he still has great respect for Ayah. Once, when we argued, he said to me, "it's only bcos of your father that i'm staying."


I am not good at hugs or saying I love you to other pple other than my husband (i cldnt say those to any of my Exes also). But this tribute means just that :)