For a baby?" my ex colleague asked me.
At the present, I can't wait to have a baby. I wanna see how they would look like. Sharp nose? dimples? Hairy? Short/tall? I wanna coo at them, buy them clothes and play with them...
A baby would also mean that we can buy a house directly from HDB.
On the other hand, now Zubair wants only 2 children (after seeing how naughty Singapore children are!!) and only after he's got work. But i thought, pregnancy spans over 9 months plus minus. Hopefully, by then, he would have found employment? How long do we hafta wait if start making babies only AFTER he's stable at the job? Maybe only in 2009 he/she'd be born!
Yet on the contrary, i am definitely NOT ready mentally.
Mainly, I'm not ready to sacrifice my time for this baby yet. I wanna go out w hubby, sisters or cousins. I wont be able to sleep my min 8hrs a night fill. Of course, i'd hafta suspend my night classes and all.
I can't take it if Zubair forget about me after the baby. Even now, i'd feel very annoyed and neglected if i dont receive hugs and attention. You wont believe it, but im jealous of my own computer!
To make matters worse, i just heard of a scary incident. One of my relative was using IUD. then she missed her period and was concerned. Her doctor confirmed she's pregnant and said probably the IUD came out unintentionally. but apparently, it actually "Termasuk" or got further inside. It is alleged that if you continue the pregnancy, there is a high chance the baby will have some er... manufacturing defects.
You have all heard that children are gifts from Allah. That they are born with their own rizq or wealth not neccessarily just monetary. If He grants us that gift, we should accept gracefully, but if He hasn't, we should be patient and that its probably better for us.
I'm just a very anal person when it comes to planning (my life, at least). I want to know when to stop medication and when to start preparing for it. Why can't life give simple answers? a straight yes or no. a firm date now and then. Well then, i guess it wouldn't be called life and we wouldn't be humans but robots! (ok rambling on and on and on! haha)
I've heard a lot of pple telling me wait till financially stable, take one thing at a time. Yes yes i know that... but what about the higher probability that Zubair will get PRship with the newborn? and what about Baby Bonus? i dont suppose the $750 every 6 mths from the govt will be sufficient but surely it DOES help?
I'm pretty sure it'd be a heavy strain on me if we want a baby and a house so soon, tho not exactly at the same time, and before he's got a job. But i just cant help exploring my options, Analyzing the pros and cons.
"But Are you Ready...
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3 glasses of Juice:
Wanna straight answer about having a baby?
How about visiting istikharah.com.sg.woodlands.midnight.2raakat.doa-in-sujud.weeping.sincerely-asking-ALLAH.
My view would be that 2008 is a ok, that is, after Lahore trip.
But then you must be mentally prepared to sacrifice your sleep, your entertainment,your computer games and lastly your blog and computer.
When one has a baby, one must give 99 percent attention to it. I mean attention, not pamper.
Attention such as when the baby is playing, you cannot also be engaged in computer games, chit chat on pc or handphone, you cannot be too much concentrating on the TV prog and forget your baby and you did not realize that it has put some metal pieces into it's mouth etc...
When you have baby, you can only give attention to ALLAH and your hubby and your job. Forget about the rest.
This is responsibility (amanah) that we owe to the baby and we are answerable to ALLAH.
Hubby also must play his part in sacrificing.
If everyone is willing to sacrifice and give attention., then baby is alright and nice as you said.
Do not consider having baby because of the bonus, house, PR etc...
Have baby when you are ready to sacrifice. Give your baby your everything, like what I gave to you when you were a baby.
But discuss with hubby and let him know so that he too must be prepared to sacrifice his time.
signed-ayah
I agree totally.
HUGE. RESPONSIBILITIES.
A little scary actually.
Ayah is rite. We are talking about NORMAL baby here rite? It is already demanding... the diapers, the medical check up, other necessities, etc...Baby bonus is nothing although it does help a little bit.
If a child was born with some complications? Like asthma or any other medical probs... ??
Yes, alot of sacrifice definitely. At times I do feel guilty for not giving enough attention (in every motherhood sense that is) to Syifaa'. Especially after a hard day's work in school! Not only to Syifaa', to mummy, ayah, husband, house, room.. etc..
To me, I don't mind missing outings with friends or cousins... but doesn't mean that they are forgotten totally. They are still dear to me but my daughter is no one priority at the moment. We have to remember masa bila kita tua nanti... are they able to look after us kalau kita sendiri tak jaga keperluan mereka.. sama jugalah.. kalau kita tak look after our parents.. it's a cycle.
If you can't go out and meet friends and relatives... you can always invite them over and cook them lunch or dinner.. or at least order if you are not confident with your cooking.
So, having a baby is alot of sacrifices and adjustments. Both husband and wife MUST know the responsibilities and priorities... in other words, MUST be mentally prepared! Don't regard an offspring as a solution to every problem that you are having now...
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