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Showing posts with label baby. Show all posts
Showing posts with label baby. Show all posts

Abang Tufeil

Tufeil is now a BIG brother. But NO, I didn't quietly got pregnant. LOL. My sis delivered a baby boy on mother's day 8th May 2011.


Everybody's saying he looks like Syifaa'


To be honest, I can't rmbr how to hold a newborn!

Tufeil was very excited to see Baby (yet to be officially named but we call him Umar for now) drinking mother's milk. He demanded to sit on the bed to see closely but I had to rein him in. Ly was in great pain as it was. Finally when I got to carry him, T was all kissing and touching the baby with his index finger. Oh! Can't wait for Umar to grow up already and play with T!

Syifaa' was also very cute. She stayed with us when Ly was admitted to the hospital and she kept jumping up and down more vigorous than usual screaming "I'm Happy I'm happy!!!!" cos baby was arriving soon.

Trying to control Tufeil's louds squeals and keeping him from running into the sharp end of the table between the curtains (he kept getting under and peeking back and forth) proved to be quite impossible so i relented and brought him to the playground instead.


The only slide suitable for his age

Through the tunnel

OMG! Like got a hairy ghost up there! That's the girl's sister actly.

Cldn't get over how he climbed and rocked the horse himself!

The group of bigger boys immediately caught his attention
He wanted to rock for them. *shake head*

The boys were so good to him but very rough among themselves
 It's so funny how Tufeil absolutely hates fluttering insects or bugs like butterfly - we saw one at the garden so cute small yellow one. That day, he also cried in fear when a fly landed on his high chair.

Dinner at Kopitiam was very disappointing. The drinks stall didn't carry any leading brand of canned soft drinks, not even COKE. Ice Kacang, bandung, lime juice all not available. The Delifrance was also disappointing. The cinnamon croissant was stale. The seats and high chairs were all VERY DIRTY! YUCKS! The next time, we should go to the canteen at the other wing 2 Kent Ridge or something.

Alas, visiting hour was over and it was time to leave....

Good night, Baby. See u again soon.


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Sneak Preview!

Sat, 25th Apr


My 2nd sis (Syifaa's mother) stayed at our place for the weekend. (Yes she's officially moved.) We wanted to go out somewhere but cldnt decide where n when (as in what time) until First sis (Ash) had to go off to meet a friend. So the two of us (plus 2 babies and a maid) ended up going to Jurong Point for dinner at Pizza Hut.


Actually i almost wanted to back out because the baby was cranky and making me cranky too. Esp since it'd b my first time gg out with the bb without Zubair and my first time trying out the sling. But Ly persuaded me otherwise.


So at 8pm, we finally went out.

The Sling.


The Baby safely inside! (And this is the sneak preview! LOL)

I'm not so sure it's very comfortable for me OR the baby because i still had to hold his head and he looks all crooked being folded in the sling. Granted, it did lift like half the weight off plus no wriggling. But because i just fed and changed him, it was a comfortable ride as he slept on...

But towards the end of dinner, he started crying!! Feeding Time!! Oh God.. i was soo clueless at how to do it. Pro-Slingers are all saying we can do it while babe is in the sling. But the truth is... its VERY Diff.. ok.. its my first time after all. It was sooo uncomfortable and "kekok" even baby got agitated and cried n cried n cried. Its a no wonder cos he kept "losing" the milk with the awkward position and it was soooo damn hot under so many layers the sling was visibly wet with his sweat! Really!

We finished dessert quickly and left. My arm was aching already and i still havent buttoned up. We left the maid to Q for cab then we tried to find the nearest toilet to adjust everything. But it was soooo freaking far i cldnt walk anymore! So i settled for the nearest staircase. Poor Syifaa' got frightened by the ventilation noise. TO be honest, i was too. But i was sooo desperate!

Got back to the Q almost just nice for our turn. Thank God Ly offered to carry Tufeil cos i really cldnt take it anymore. She even hid the babe under the tudung panjang because it was late and there are "trees" around.

We reached home 11.20pm.

Quite traumatic for me, it was. But hey... we've got to start somewhere huh.

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Breastfeeding scare!

I have been feeding him lying on the bed for sessions between 5am - 12nn.

As most mothers say they sleep while they feed their babes. Q: So does that mean they dont burp the baby?

I always feel guilty each n everytime the baby regurgitates. Q: Would they feel hungry again afterwards since the milk came out from their system?

Lately i noticed that after 10 min of feeding, Tufeil would get restless. He would push me away, but at the same time cries for milk!! Its very confusing for me.

Then last Saturday, I started training him on bottle cause i dont want to surprise him with the bottle on D&D night and he would refuse then i'd hafta go home!? Then he started snorting while i was feeding him. Then again the push away bottle but cries hungrily.

I panicked. We were alone at home and Z was in the toilet. Z told me to turn off the fan. but he still cried and i got crankier cos it was soooo HOT!!

I called mummy and she said she was on the way home.

When she got home and inspected baby...

.
.
.
.

It turned out that there was a HUGE HUGE TAIK HIDUNG (still dont know the proper English word other than nose shit) stuck in his nose!!! and on both sides of the nose too! He was 3.5weeks old then and we hadnt cleared it once! *sheepish grin* Sorry yeah first time parents.

He ate and slept better afterwards.


When Khairiah visited me at KK Hosp, her baby was into 4th week and she was so expert a BF-ing already. I was amazed.

Now that i'm at that stage too and i realise im getting better at it too. Though not as expert as she is, at least i dont need the nursing cream anymore. Weehooo... So it is NOT impossible.

Nan told me that she didnt think it was gonna be easy too... but it will get easier (no latching problems, no squirming babies) at 8weeks onward or something.

'Azma wondered if her baby would ever sleep thru the night. It was impossible for her to imagine but the day came. As for me, i dont doubt they can sleep thru the night as Tufeil can sleep 4 - 5hours at a go but during day time!! So instead i'm wondering if his clockwork would ever change to east coast time(or whatever)???

Just wanna remind myself, "WE CAN DO IT!" cheyyy bah.

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Stuck in Between

  1. One would say "bedung (swaddle) lah", the other, "his limbs need to be free."
  2. One would say "use lampin (napkin)", the other, "who's gonna wash?"
  3. One would say, "the fan's too strong, he cant breathe" but the other said, "he's hot lah"
  4. One would say, "Put on the hat for him" the other, "Its too hot" (the latter's the one who said fan's too strong)
  5. One would say, "Shape his head" the other, "That's so cruel!"
  6. One would say, "She will comment if i take him from her" the other, "He took him from me"!

And im stuck in between.

I can understand both points of view but i do whichever is easier for me. If u want it ur way, then do it urself.

The only things i have strong opinion about are:

  1. No need to give water to baby (even when hiccup?)
  2. Please dont use powder.

But i have no choice. If i ask for help, i should accept it the way its presented back to me.

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Syifaa' The Little Helper

Mon, 23rd Mar 09


Today Zubair went out early. So i had plenty of time to conjure up the mood to clean the room.


When i took out the vacuum, Syifaa' said she wanted to vacuum too. But of course, that's dangerous so i only let her play with the button to wind in the wire (before plugged in).


Then i took out the mop and she insisted she do the mopping!


Told her to wipe off the white stuffs on the floor
That's some spilt calamine lotion i've been spreading on my thighs religiously twice a day for the itchiness.

She even mopped under the bed!


I repeated my request several time that now it's Caca's turn to mop but she won't hand over the stick to me. I even tried to pretend Baby Elmo was crying in the new stroller that Z bought. She wasn't to be averted. She even proudly called on to her nenek saying, "Nenek, tengok (look)! Syifaa' mop."
All I can say is... Thank god for short attention span.


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I'M STILL HERE!!!

Thurs 19/3

Felt contractions at 2am. (They like to come in the middle of the night dont they!?) But was not regular but made me feel rather apprehensive for the check up at 11am.


Had to wait about 1hr to do the ultrasound at Antenatal Monitoring Clinic (AMC) Jeez. Luckily, met Fara who was also there for her baby's appointment so 1hr passed by like nothing as we talked and talked. We were very loud though cos first we were shooed by the nurse to go from the waiting area inside, to the one outside and then i noticed some pple glanced back at us irritatingly. Sorry! We were sooo excited to meet and had a lot to talk about! heheheh


Then had to wait 15min to do the heartbeat scan for 30min. By the time I met Doctor Lubna, it was way past 1pm.


Amniotic Fluid 7.7 (Not to get below 5) and Baby's weight is 2.9kg (Good range between 2.5 - 3.5 i think). So Doctor said that she's comfortable to wait for another week AFTER my EDD. And that she won't do the VE on me if i dont want to. I shook my head hard!


She also noticed that Im having irregular contractions and asked if i felt anything. During the scan, NO. I did manage to glance at my chart and understood why Dr Endrina had to ask her colleague on what to do when she saw my chart last week. Last week's chart was VERY Regular BUT i still didnt feel anything. This week's was very random and at varying peaks.


Total cost: $53. not bad at all! I was thinking over $100!


Next Appt is Wed 25th Mar, a day after my EDD and to go thru the same procedures as today's.


We sighed breaths of relieves! INsya'Allah it will mean that we get to go to the family BBQ on Sunday and hopefully even manage to hold off till after Zubair's 2nd major concert on 24th Mar itself!


I did ask him though what if i deliver right DURING his performance???? He said its ok i'll come AFTER the performance, at least i'm still here. Memang nak kena cepuk betul!!! Let's just hope the baby will wait patiently for the papa to come and receive him before it decides to pop out!


The only negative outcome im feeling is the pressure to keep baby's weight down. My mum already commented, "Oh its heavier than Syifaa' when she was born" she was 2.7 or 2.8 like tt. Arghhh I sooo want a light baby. My friend's 3kg baby look soooo tiny and petite and cute. I can't bear to be responsible for his obesity in later life! HUARGHHHHHHH


I know i know... most importantly baby should be healthy... but i just can't help resoluting NOT TO EAT at all!! THAT kinda pressure ok! But alas... im not that strong willed. Just last night i finished the rest of the half of my McFlurry ice cream. LOL

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38th Week Check Up

Thurs 12th Mar 09

After waiting for 20 or so min i was told to go and get a 30min CTG scan (to monitor baby's heartbeat). Unfortunately, someone just started on the one and only machine so we had to wait another 25min. So i went to see my dietitian first.

It hurts me to lie (not to mention that it wont do me any good) but when she asked if im still taking all the vits and supplements i just nodded. Truth is i havent been for the past 2 weeks or more! Its really really REALLY difficult to be consistent.

At this last stretch im also finding it EXTREMELY difficult to refuse sugary stuffs. So much so that the dietitian was disappointed to see my increased blood sugar level. It was only because i ate things like Fried Hong Kong noodle, 25% less sugar Granola Bars, a 3 oz Yami Yoghurt and a bite or two of some choc cakes.... *wide grin*

But i find it.... Ridiculous at best, and contradicting at least... when everybody else took their pregnancy as a very good excuse to indulge in SWEET nothings... I, for one, feel extra extra guilty when i consume just a tiny treat even a sip of lemon juice during this pregnancy. And i look forward to AFTER delivery to start hitting on ALL THOSE FOODS I MISS DESPERATELY!!! How ironic!


The only thing positive she could say was that i still maintained my weight at 67.6kg despite all the sinful food.


I had that nice gynae again! Dr Erinda, i believe her name was. She looked at the CTG scan report and commented, "Oh very active baby huh." Thank God! Then she went out with the report then came back saying, "It says here that you've been having some contractions, do u mind if i do a VE?" I winced. She said, "I promise to be very gentle." I relented.


No. I hadnt dilated yet. Thankfully too that I remembered Khairiah's tip to remain relaxed so it wont hurt as much. Actually she said so that the cervix would open quicker when you're not all tensed up but i applied it to this scenario as well and i suppose... it worked! I didnt feel anything afterwards!


The doc frowned too when she saw my latest readings. and stressed the importance of keeping a good diet, otherwise, i might be forced to get induced! Hmmm!


Next appt is exactly a week later on the 19th March, that is, if i still hadnt delivered. I will hafta go for ultrasound scan first to check fetal weight as well as waterbag level. YAYYY!! The best thing also is that i wont hafta rush back to the office after the appt cos by next week, i've started my leave already! Wheeeee


I promise myself to walk around the park after lunch.. say... 3 or 4pm if its not too hot? otherwise at night lah and i will make sure i drag Zubair with me! Haha... oh well who knows i can get contractions anytime anywhere now and shouldn't be left to my own devices!

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After 38 weeks of Gestation....

... came the drama!

I called up my mum at 4:45pm yesterday, "Mummy, im going to the hospital now."

hehe... i made her shocked / panicked for awhile.

No i wasn't having labour pains... We were just concerned that the baby hasnt been very active ALL day!

Usually i would wake up in discomfort in the middle of the night with his kickings. He would also start jumping around when i hit the shower every morning. Too cold i guess. But yesterday morning. Na da. Zilch. nothing. Zubair came awake esp to ask me if he's been moving bcos he also noticed that the baby wasnt active all night.

I remember the gynae from the last visit said not to take the chances and just go to the hospital to get checked. At first, I gave ourselves time till after lunch... then extended it to after work.

I consulted 'Azma and she told me to try waking up the baby first so i started tickling him. LOL by tickling i mean scratching my tummy gently (its very itchy anyways but cant scratch hard so the skin is very thin round about there). Hmmm well yeah he DID nudge me back but after went back to sleep or... whatever the cause of the silence was.

Hairiah, on the other hand, told me to drink something sweet and then lie down on my side.

Felt a bit guilty with this thought in mind, "Could it be cause i indulged myself in a lot of sweet stuffs the previous night just before bedtime?" Cause i noticed the last time that this happened, i was eating sweet things the night before too. (Maybe ive been having a LOT of sweet stuffs lately. SHHHHHHHHHHH)

Funnily enough, during lunchtime, as we were having "coffee" at Coffee bean (no i dont drink coffee... but ordered a KIDS Sunrise with no whipped cream just as guiltily), a treat from my colleague, He was ALL action and stretches. By the time i reached back to the office, its the silence of the lamb again. Hmmmmmmmmmm

Told Zubair to get ready to go to the hospital.

On the way, 'Azma was very kind to tell me what to expect while i'm there. I only knew that they will strap me to the heartbeat monitoring machine for about 30min to 1hr but she explained to me the 3 possible scenarios that could happen AFTERwards.

1. If everything is well, they will discharge me
2. If not so well meaning there's some contractions or heartbeat is low, then they will transfer me to the normal ward to be admitted.
3. They will perform Vaginal Exam (thereafter known as VE) to see how many cm have i dilated (opened) to judge stage of labour.

(did i get u right, Mah? heh)


You know what happened?! the VERY moment i was asking to lie down and was strapped HE STARTED KICKING vigorously already!!! But i tot it was like a once off and waited listening to the beat myself. There were 2 or 3 times when his heart skipped a beat when he was stretching hard. Hmmmm scary.

at the 30th min or so i heard some nurse said, "Eh the Lizard went away already." HUH?!?!??! LIZARD?!?!?!? in this CLEAN sterile Hospital?!?!?!?!? Yikes!

1hr later, the doc came and showed me the chart. It has both fetal heartbeat as well as MY contractions. No i didnt have any and the heartbeat showed a VERY ACTIVE baby. Yeah yeah when i lie down THEN he started to move!

Zubair was so cute. I didnt get to meet him before i went into this Triage Room to be monitored because he hasnt reached already and men arent allowed in. He asked me to do a video call! heheh unfortunately i think 3G technology is barred in hospitals cos we both can't make video call.

I went out and see the anxious Papa. and reassured him everything's fine and dandy. Paid $32.15 for this 1hr of service. Thank God. I was imagining it could hit over $100!!

The funniest part of the day? Zubair said, "Everytime i wear this white t-shirt, i attract some kind of insects. Just now there was a lizard on my tummy!" ROLLING ON THE FLOOR LAUGHING!!! So this lizard came from MY, MY husband! LOL *shake head*

And now baby is making up for lost time. He's kicking me harder than ever!

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37th Week Check up

3rd Mar 09


Got reprimanded (sorta) by the gynae for two things:

  1. Not going to the hospital the moment i noticed decreased movements
  2. Not doing my Blood Sugar Level for the past two weeks

Re No. 1, She said that its IMPORTANT that i go to the hosp to get a heartbeat check on the baby once i notice decreased movements in the baby because dont wanna risk anything to happen to it.

That day when i noticed it was moving very slowly and somewhat lethargically, i tot i'd wait and see how the next day went first before going to hosp. And the next day he got slightly more active and by the 3rd he was up to his usual self so everything's fine now.

Re No 2, She said it is crucial that i keep monitoring my blood sugar level so they can roughly gauge how the baby is doing inside. I apologised and said will do it the next day. She said that i can even do it every other day if i want to. Yes i want to... just need to go and buy some more supplies. Aiyah.

I weighed in @ 68.4kg!!! 800gm increase from 2 weeks ago! I hope i won't hit 70kg tho... that would be an awful lot to lose after delivery man!

It was our wedding anniversary day but the guy was fast asleep at home after an all nighter! So i had to go to the check up alone. Oh whatever... all the better in fact so i could catch up on my reading. BAH. Like the ad says, "Who needs a man when you have HArvey Norman?" Lol.

The gynae today was very nice... not so flustered that i managed to wriggle some answers out of her. I managed to tell her that i have very itchy skin to which she prescribed calamine lotion. I also asked her when's the next ultrasound gonna be. Her answer, "Oh there wont be anymore ultrasound because you can be due anytime soon. But if not, maybe 38th - 39th week." Oh well ok as long as she feels my baby is good and healthy lah. We'll meet him when we see him. =)

It was a good fortune for me that one of the 11 bestfriends delivered @ the same hosp just the day before my check up! So i went to see her first and got a detailed story of her birth right down to the minute detail as well as what to bring etc. Too many tips to write down here and i wanna go for a nap now... sooo... ill just write down MY own birth story when the time comes lah. Dont wanna spoil it for her also.

Next check up is in a week's time, 12th mar 09. EDD: 24th Mar 09. Eyow!

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Two More Weeks to Go!

Ok... So its 8pm and im still in the office. Just finishing up actually. As usual its because the Paris Bosses are coming and i need to make 5 sets of report.

Stayed back last night too... But last night was better because 2 great kaki (friend/colleagues) were there too and we had fun laughing while finishing our work. Tonight its just the boss and me and now he's left already.

I'm still not finished but preparing for the stuffs to slot in on Monday.

Speaking of Monday, my temp will start on that day! I will have 2 full weeks to train her afterwhich she will be alone in the office with no other more exp staff around the next snr one also on maternity! LOL. She will also be coming just 3 days a week.

We have two weeks because i have more or less decided to start my maternity leave a week before my EDD of 24th Mar. Which basically means that by 3rd week of March ill be hanging around at home relaxing, playing game, treasuring the last few days with the hub at home as well as preparing for any more last minute items also should be doing lotsa walking...

A friend shared that during her time she wanted to work to the very last moment because she didnt think she could bare sitting around and waiting for the contractions to come at home. hehe... To be honest, i already feel anxious about the baby's arrival ... but i can't wait to sleep all day too! LOL

And about baby.... Strange... today it is rather quiet that its normal self. Yesterday i was complaining to Z that the baby's kicking me soooo hard and furious my tummy felt sore! Today the feeling was like... sombre... with only half hearted kicks and stretches. Should i start to worry? But i think it's still within 10 times a day... just not the usual level of activeness.

Today i almost went crazy with itchiness on the tummy too! I think it might be because of the pants. Its not tight ... just that it has got some ruffles where the elastic is that's making some kind of mark on the tummy and making me BONKErs!

Oklah... That's the update for tonight. I'm going off to pick up Z by cab from his class and then have dinner.

Night All.

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Baby's Cot

This is the Baby cot Zubair bought from Kiddy Palace last week.

LATIDO red+Black colour @ S$210!

One night Syifaa' insisted on being carried into the cot despite my explanation that this is for baby and she's a BIG girl now. So in the end, we compromised that she can get in but can only sit down nicely and not jump jump around.

Zubair was not around that time. If he were, he'd definitely say cannot. I'm weak in that sense (or u can also say ine very sense). Always give in to a child's request... or rather... tantrum. hah. He can easily scare Syifaa' out of the room by GROWLING like the bear he is. hehe... and she will run away squealing.

ANYWAYs!!! the cot is taking too much of our bedroom space! I've asked Z to dismantle it first cos we had 6 weeks more to go then. It has been 1.5weeks now. Because the baby hasnt arrived yet, its the BARANG-BARANG (things) that are residing inside. GRRRRRR...

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First Antenatal Class

During my first visit to KK Hospital back in Dec, i also signed up for the antenatal class, which Zubair was quick to say he doesnt need.

Their next class would actually end mid of March, too near my EDD. So the kindly officer put me into some make up classes so i cld finish earlier. Even then, i didn't start straight away. I felt the first 3 lessons were too... basic since im already quite far in my pregnancy. Recommended to start at Week 16 when im already Week 29?

So finally i went to the class yesterday covering the topic, PARENTCRAFT - Caring for your own baby.




Firstly, i received a goodie bag!


I groaned at the two bagsful of goodies. I really liked them but too heavy for me to bring it home. Z, of course, didnt come along. I was the only one without their spousal support, damn it! Sure, he was out to find money but....

I was sooo excited i saw in the first row! I was also the first to arrive. There was a baby doll and a changing station in front of the class already.

So firstly, the instructor told us how the baby will most likely look like when its been delivered. Means whats normal and whats normal.. like some patches of blood is normal cos their policy is not to wash with water on the first day just yet etc etc...

Next are about the common problems infants will have eg: Vomitting, Diarrheoa, Constipation, Thrush (ulcer in the mouth) and cradle cap. How to care for it, How to treat it at home, when to go to doctor/hospital.

Saving the best for last is how to bathe the babyyyyyyy!!!!! I was sooooooo looking forward to this cos im sooooooo afraid of this part.

REMEMBER: At all times, hold ur slippery, fidgety, tiny baby by his armpit.


The speaker highly recommends COTTON NAPKIN as opposed to diapers esp for newborn in the first month.


The nicest part of it is... it was definitely safe to ask very basic and/or silly questions. I asked her, "How to clean the baby after he passes urine/stool?" Others asked like is it alright to use powder on baby, to use plastic underwear over the napkin, use creams etc.

(Answers: 1. just wash like u would, or use cotton ball soaked with cooled boiled water. 2. it IS alright to use powder but better to pour on ur palm and pat the excess away THEN rub on baby. 3. CAN wear plastic underwear but will be just like wearing diaper. 4. Creams are ok but always test on a small patch of skin on baby. If he's sensitive to it, it will show in 5min.)

Finished at 8:10 thereabout which is very early! But all the shops were beginning to close already as visiting hours were also over. I wanted to take a look at the First Few Years shop. The strollers look mighty fine. =)

There's another class on tonight. Topic will be Coping with First Stage Labour. Can't wait to know what am i in for.

4 WEEKS TO GO TO FULL TERM. 6 WEEKS TO GO TO DUE DATE. Im soooooooooooooo not prepared!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


Baby's progress:


Been kicking me harder than ever!


Last night i talked to him. "Are you hungry baby? ok ok i drink milk for u ok? Just let me clear the room first before your dad comes home." and his kicking ceased.


But of cos he was hungry! I didnt eat anything last night save for 2 sticks of garlic bread from Delifrance. By the time i reached home, it was sooo late and didnt feel like eating the heavy nasi briyani that was dinner.


However, because i was up till past 1am, i cldnt stand it any longer and toasted 1pc of sausage for myself and 2 for the daddy. Hmmm should have been the other way around na?


Also, i read the weekly progress it said its normal to feel some tingling in lower abdomen at this last last stage. At first i tot it was just the baby pushing down my bladder or something.. but its actually the pelvic muscle adjusting and preparing for labour! my lord!


Oh yes my tummy has also been feeling itchy. Its not mosquito bite itchy... its more like... tickling feather kind of itchiness. like from the inside! I imagine its his head of hair tickling me but is it possible? His head is down 4 weeks ago and the itch is high up near the belly button.

I dont know if the weighing machine in our house is faulty or what but the needle doesnt seem to go any higher when i step on it.


oh can't wait for my next check up in another week!

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I've Given Birth.....

....in my dreams!

I was brought to my school's old compound (another nightmare prone site in my mind). I can already see somebody holding my baby, but that is his spirit.

People around me were telling me to feel what's the baby trying to tell me... He seemed to be telling me that he's ready to go out but that he wants to be borned on the lawn of our reverred teacher who lives across the road. So i painstakingly walked over the few metres and delivered. Because I was in that compound, the reverred teacher "forgave" my labour pains and i didnt feel no Ring of Fire that i was waiting for.


Scary... seems like im on the verge of being shirik. *shudder* Worse is this guy came back into my life saying he was sorry that he was ready to accept me and baby. Huh?? How did he suddenly come into my unconscious mind?


Now in the office, pondering on the dream, i feel weird. And scared.

1. It just struck me that i'll be experiencing extreme labour pains in under 2months if im lucky. Having actually "delivered" the baby in that dream, i cant imagine the fear on the REAL DAY. Often pple described it as sooo painful you thought you were gonna die.


2. I've known this before already but it just slapped me on the face again as a result from this dream that after i gave birth, i hafta take care of this little person and i have no clue how to!! And im worried how i will take in this Overwhelming feeling of love.


I realise its not just about pretty clothes and cute faces. There will be a lot of pain and emotions going on. Nice though Butterflyrubric's latest entry about the anecdotes of her son's first week, it made me feel even weirder. Cos Im not used to loving nor taking care of anybody else more than myself. Haha. And i'm especially worried i'd be all alone, nobody cares enough to stay with me the whole entire time.

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I Fear Death is Near

Everytime i yawn, cough and cry... i feel something is strangling my throat.

I can picture that when im at the peak of contractions, my throat will just close in on me and cut off the oxygen.

I'm deeply sorry my baby if i dont live to see you. I will pray people won't mistreat you and i dont doubt my family will take good care of you.

It was irresponsible of me to have conceived you when we were not stable yet, causing a slew of problems that have resulted in my current health and emotional condition. But believe me, I already love you a lot. Too much maybe that its clouding my decisions.

Just wanna let you know that i enjoyed watching u move in my tummy. Esp that day when u showed me your feet, remember? They really looked like a ball circling the edges of my tummy! And when i contract my tummy to get up from a lying position, i can see the shape of your body (altho technically its the waterbag)!

If Allah thinks its my time to leave, so be it. I resolve to be spiritually prepared for it though i'm already feeling suicidal anyways. Not enough to cut my own hand like somebody had alleged that i did, but enough to lose hope that things will look up. Nonetheless promise me, my child, that you will be His good servant.

I hope to meet you in Heaven. I love you.

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If it were a holiday today....

It's sooo mendak (dull/boring) at work today. I'm nodding off to sleep.

Still in holiday mood. OM @ hospital waiting to be induced. Boss in UK.

Just got back from 3D2N of Melaka late last night. So very sleepy now. Would have posted pictures already but forgot my hp back at home.

No internet @ home till Fri.

and now as the title goes... If it were a holiday today... i would be:

  1. Sleeping @ home
  2. Watching a few DVDs
  3. but mainly i just wanna stay in bed and watch my tummy move.

Baby has been a bit out of action all thruout my melaka holiday. Worried me so much. The minute i stepped on my country soil, he started his kicking already. maybe he was feeling too sombre to gear up any strength to kick me. Either that or he's not hungry enough to nudge me to eat since i was STUFFED thruout the vacation. LOL

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The Big 30

No I'm not 30 yet. But I'm already 30 weeks pregnant. Another approximately 10 more weeks to go.


So yesterday's scan went great. Zubair was able to take leave from school, Thank God. We also arrived in time. The wait wasn't long.


But the scan, i felt, was too short. The doc DID show me the baby's arms and thighs. His bones anyways. Told me that the baby's head is down. and explained that she was capturing 4 sides of the waterbag for measurement. Told me that baby is 1.3kg, in good range.


I heard other people were paying $75 - $80 at the Antenatal Diagnostic Centre's payment counter and got nervous. Alhamdulillah, I only needed to pay $40. It should have been $80 but coming from polyclinic, we are entitled to government's grant as well as exemption of GST.


Next stop is the Gynae. We ate my half chicken kebab from last night and jemput2 brought from home (we are VERY skint) while waiting for our no to be called. When we came into the doc's room, we were greeted by a, "Good Almost Afternoon!" SO cute this gynae. She said that because it was about 10min to 12nn.


She asked how's the baby. I said fine just that he has been kicking extra extra extra from 2 days before. Gynae assured me that Kicking is good about 10 - 20 kicks in 12hours. But to inform her if i can't feel any kicks at all.


Gynae translated from the scan that the baby's head is down and that the placenta is high up. A good position. I then raised a concern to her, "Is it too early for the head to be down there?" Her reply, "No, not at all. In fact, its good if the head's down from the beginning cos that's the natural position, supposedly." Let's hope that it is also NATURAL for the baby to STAY in that position. OK baby? You hear that?


I asked doc also what's my weight during my last visit cos i thought i've lost weight. Indeed, last visit was 67.5kg (altho a few days before that at poly i was 67.9kh thereabouts) and yesterday i was 66kg. I confided in her that i have been vomitting quite a lot. She seemed surprised and asked, "Wah you still vomit ah?" I said no just the 2 or 3 times cos i was sick. But she concluded that it's still ok if i lost weight as long as baby is growing healthily which he is. Ok i breathed a sigh of relief.


At the payment counter, i think a lot of pple felt lost you know. I dont know what system they use but we dont hafta submit any papers, they will know we have finished and will call our no. It was while waiting to be called that i remembered i forgot to give the doc my blood test reports.


See, during my first KK visit, the doctor noted that polyclinic did not give ALL of theblood test results i've done there which includes the thalassaemia, HIV test and whatever and told me to go get a copy before i come the next time, which i did before setting out to the hospital. Unfortunately, Z's blood test report was not included. She was able to access from the system but it wasn't clear if the report was of mine or his. I tried to tell her that the ones with all good marks are Z's, the one with red marks for haemoglobin will be mine. But she seemed unsatisfied and ordered for blood test to be done on the same day since we were there already.


It is while waiting for his blood to be drawn, we noticed these two indian Ladies talking quite animatedly in Hindi. I have noticed them from when we first reached there because i said to Z, "Your friend." hehe But seems a bit funny or coincidental that after 1.5hr they are back there together with us too.


They talked somemore i only caught incoherent bits n pieces. But Z intercepted them and asked whats wrong etc. Turned out that they had been waiting for their turn to be called for the past 1.5hr sitting there when they actually havent submitted the paper into the tray!!! Also, the husband wasn't in town to get his blood drawn either. Poor them.


The fees for this round is $60, after close to 50% govt grant, which includes 3 diff analysis from the blood and consultation.


Next still was a follow up with the Dietitian from my ODAC day. She reviewed my chart and marvelled that even after a pizza bread, my blood level was good. Deduced that it could have been the walking, although i doubt International Plaza to my office is THAT energy depleting. lol. But again reminded me that i should avoid fried stuffs n sweet stuffs like my Kuih TArt!!! Also advised me to take TWO calcium tablets a day (as i seem not to have taken ANY MILK AT ALL since ODAC), when i havent even begun to take any though i had already bought it. God help me.


$9, please.


Afterwards, we went to a coffee shop at the rear side of Mustafa for lunch. We purposely didn't go to Usman because we wanted Chappati but we were still served Naan without being asked as the former isnt available. ERRGH! Im not sure but i doubt Naan uses wheat like chappati?


The whole day I was walking uncomfortably because my slip on slipper was feeling slippery. So we burnt off the calories window shopping at Mustafa and got my full covered shoe @ $16. I normally wear size 38, but this time, just to be safe, i bought size 41!!! HAHAHA in case i get water retention much later but it is still comfortable lah.


I also noticed that the Palmer's stretch cream marks are a good $10 cheaper there!!!!!!!!GRRRRRRRR


Anyways, next visit is not for another 5 weeks. Strange because at this stage I should be seeing her every 2 weeks once. Just as well, we thought, so we can cut cost though we should be mindful that if there's anything to be worried about, should contact the gynae straight away.


All in all, I thank God baby's fine and healthy.

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Pre-Antenatal Check Up Anxiety

I think my baby is nervous for the scan tmrw.

He keeps kicking me all day. And the kicks are either like... vibrations or like somebody panicking in water threading water, you know? In honesty, i'm the one who's nervous maybe that's where the baby got the jittery vibes from. haha

Nervous because I desperately dont want him to be big for his ideal gestational weight. nor too small for it. My tummy is looking very small what if my baby...... (god forbids!) But then again, I have an ex colleague who only gained 5kg for all her 3 pregnancies and her children are all healthy. I've already gained 10kg so it should translate to health hopefully?

I hafta report to the dietician also to hand in my report chart. I'm so scared, what if she scolds me asking why i havent been taking care of my food, although i have been in good range. That is except for last Sun when i had Fish & Chips AND lime juice. My first sweet drink ever since got diagnosed so. Hope she will discount that.

I suppose I know the real reason for my anxiety. I very much hope Z can be excused from school and come with us. Dont want him to miss seeing our baby, right? Just won't be the same if Mum's there. I want him ... no i NEED him to be there to receive any bad or good news TOGETHER. Dont think I can handle it alone.

ARGHHH

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Usman's Place and Ghajini

10/01/09

First Stop: Dinner at Usman's Place @ Bussorah Street.

I think the name is sooooo not compatible to the settings. See... their first branch is called Usman Restaurant but it is more like a run down open air coffee shop at Lil India. But this is a high class, chic restaurant but they just simply call it Usman's Place.

The interior is somewhat authentic to Paki taste, i think. That is what i gather from Wana's pictures from Karachi restaurants anyway. Afraid i dont have much picture to speak of. But this is what we had:


Paki style Something Chicken w Fried Rice.



Shami Kebab.





I wasn't feeling so hungry hence just the light Shami Kebab but BOY WAS IT HOT!!




No Main dishes below $10. But a good place to impress lah right.




I did a naughty thing afterwards. I bought donuts! Half a dozen at that! But just ate 2. Hafta control.




We made it just nice for Ghajini, Aamir Khan's latest movie, at 8:20pm.






Ok tell me who's not going to melt looking at this ... this... Perfection Personified?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!??!
How come he seems to look younger and not older?

So funny... my baby was kicking me thru all the upbeat theme song! So much so that i just couldnt concentrate watching Aamir's extremely well crafted physique during that lovely song. LOL What can i say? Thank God he's not a sappy love song kinda guy.

The movie? The beginning was a tad slow. I very much prefer the happy flashbacks then the teary and dangerous Current time.

I dont know whether the gruesome parts have been censored or that's exactly how Aamir wanted it. Just as well for me. For i could have either screamed or thrown up if i've seen the "real" pokes and wat nots.

Good show, nonetheless. It's Aamir Khan, what.




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Wish List

I was requested by friends to make a wish list to make life easier for everyone.

Have been trying to come up with the list but had totally no clue what i need to get, nor what's good and at what price.

However, i do intend to buy these few things:

  1. Food warmer
  2. Crib with easy changing station
  3. Baby Bedsheets
  4. Stroller
  5. Some sort of a Baby Sling. Initially i tot Bjorn will be good but there's no feature to carry from behind.
  6. Pumps. If u know what i mean. While some say electric is easier, others say manual gives better stimulation, so im confused.
  7. Lots of clothes of course but preferably not all newborns.

Because i dont know or can't decide what specific brand or type i want (and im very fussy), i deduce that the best thing you could get for me, IF you want to that is (im totally not expecting any bcos i dont believe in gift giving myself), would simply be:

Kiddy Palace Voucher

That should settle it.

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My Day at ODAC

Being diagnosed with Gestational Diabetes, I was sent by my gynae to spend a whole day at the Obstretics Day Care aka ODAC.


I fussed the few days prior to the appointment about what books or things to bring to entertain myself while i eat hospital food. When the nurse called me, i did get a chance to ask what will i be doing there but she only answered with... "Don't worry, we have things for you to do." Hmmm I saw a TV in there.. but what if i dont like the show? I still have practically no idea what i was in for.


But first let me just tell you how homey it was in there.


Mum initially thought that it was at a ward or something... but its more of a... clinic. and No i didnt hafta change to the hospital robe either.



I SUPER LOVE THOSE PINK CUSHIONS! SO COMFY FOR MY BACK!
TV and stuffs. Homey if a bit old fashioned (radio, food pyramid, food models... so funny)


Having arrived at 8:10am, i was the first one there. But i was joined by 3 other ladies soon after. They were all indians, one of them a muslim, complete with Purdah and everything! She seems to be new to Singapore and knows little English, so the other Indian native who's stayed here for 8 yrs helped her a bit with translation. I tried to show off my urdu also asking her, "Aap India se ya Pakistan se?" Are you from India or Pakistan? To which she answered the former, to my great disappointment. Like i thought we could have something in common to talk about.


As it turned out, our itinerary for the day was jam packed ok!


First, we learnt how to use the Blood Sugar Level home kit. For that day and two consecutive days each week, we hafta prick our fingers like 7 times a day to get the reading on our blood sugar level directly before and 2 hours after food and just before bedtime. It was scary at first to be poking a needle into myself. (I dont like to inflict injury upon myself unlike somebody i know. *roll eyes*) So much so that the nurse helped by holding on to my finger to apply pressure to finally cause a puncture so blood could ooze out.



After that we were given our bfast first at 9am as we haven't eaten anything since 12midnight.


Skimmed Milk, Kway Teow Soup with minced chicken, carrots and long beans and clear soup.


If you know me, i DONT DRINK MILK. I can only take strawberry / choc flavoured milk which is a BIG NO NO for diabetics. To make things worse this was SKIMMED milk. The kind nurse then added some cocoa powder (which is a natural one and contains no added sugar) as well as 1 teeny weeny tablet of Equal artificial sweetener. It was still horrible but i had no other choice but to down it. For the dear baby. *shudder*


Afterwards, we had a session with a dietician. She went thru with us all the OK and NOT ok food for us. I was jumping for joy when she said that Coke Light, Coke Zero, Pepsi light are all permissible to a limit of a can a day. WEEEEEHOOOOOOOOOO.... at least something to appease my aching heart (or rather tummy and throat) that's grieving the loss of cakes, chocolates and ice creams that this pregnancy has had me craving for.


I felt so sorry for two of the other ladies and their paymaster. It was very difficult for them to comprehend what the Chinese dietician is explaining with her correct English but punctuated with a lot of "hor"s and all, that i feel they could hardly benefit from this $371 (subsidised for residents, could be double for non-residents!) session.

We break for tea which was another cup of milk (ERGhhhhhhhhhh) and 3 packets of wholemeal biscuits. Very dry and lacklustre. just gobbled them up for the sake of munching.
Then we proceeded on to sample Meal plans and an indvd one-on-one with the dietician to specify what we can eat in accordance to all the existing supplements and recommendations from the gynae.
Some of the things i learnt are:
  1. It's better for us to take small meals and shorter intervals of 2 - 3hours. This is so that our blood sugar levels won't fluctuate erratically which is not good for the baby's system.
  2. Vitagens and Yakults are surprisingly disallowed! I thought they would be good since they contain probiotics. but apparently too sweet i guess.
  3. Milk can be replaced with Yoghurt but not cheese. Diabetic flavoured yoghurts are available in the brand Yoghlait or something. Hafta check this out.
  4. 1 snack = 1 fruit = 1 milk. So i bluntly told the dietician that i already intended to substitute the milk for fruits. And so she suggested i buy Caltrate (calcium tablets) to supplement my and baby's 1600mg a day need for calcium! *faint* PLease no more pills, please! Already I'm delaying to start on Obimin cos its too FREAKINGLY HUMONGOUS!
  5. Diabetes is not so much about salt as it is about sugar. Starchy foods will convert into sugar. This includes starchy vege which are ROOT veges like potatoes, carrots, tapioca and the like. In other words, potato chips are a No No but twisties and nachos are prolly alright. LOL
  6. Oil seemed innocent enough on the surface. However, oil makes the sugar in our blood stays longer than necessary. Avoid fried stuffs!
Finally, LUNCH TIME!



Rice, Chicken curry (?), long beans, apple and carrot soup.

I was the only one to start my meal with fruit. Even the kind nurse ate her fruit last. Hmmm contemplated telling her the virtues of eating ur fruit first but decided against it. I'm here to learn after all, not to teach. haha.

There were two other ladies who joined us for lunch that day. They were on the machine earlier i think. They are, i think, already diabetic when they got pregnant. I felt sorry for these two malay ladies also. They are rather obese. I could smell their insecurities as well as mine when i started to fear i might turn just like them in the future. God saves us all. Sad to say that yes, statistics show that the Malay and Indian communities here in Singapore are more prone to such chronic illness.

After lunch, we were told to go for a walk. Walking, the best form of exercise for pregnant ladies, is helpful in bringing down your BSL as u burn calories. Naughty me did some shopping in between 3 tawafs / rounds around the hospital building. I got 2 maternity dresses and rented 2 books. tsk tsk tsk I even dropped by the Patient Education Centre to ask if i could start my classes early to no avail.

After lunch, it was the nurse's turn to talk. Madam Zuraily is very very nice though. She made sure we were all comfy and spoke at our level. Mostly, she was like a caring mother to us. Among other things, she explained what GDM (Gestational Diabetes Mellitus) is all about and how it could affect us and the baby. Like finally! All my questions were answered!

For the longest time, I had no clue what is this insulin that everybody's talking about does. She explained (w/o us having asked her) that insulin helps to transport the sugar in our intestines into our bloodstream. Lack of insulin will result into excessive blood sent to the kidney. Too much would result in kidney failures and then the blood will pass out in our urine. I hope i've got it right! haha

A person with family history of diabetes is a likely candidate for GDM. However, just about any pregger could get it. This is because when we are pregnant, our body releases a certain feminine hormone. Some generates more than others and it could lead to some disturbance to the smooth function of this insulin. Likewise, u'll be diagnosed with GDM.

Now, what will it do the baby inside of us? Two things. It can either make the baby very big or very small.

Very big because if sugar = energy = growth. If we keep feeding him/her with sugar he will keep growing bigger and bigger than is appropriate. When it's become too big, it'll be very very difficult for us to push the baby out normally.

Too small because when we eat too much cakes and sweets *moan* the PLACENTA will grow and grow until it becomes old, mature and die before the baby is even out. And placenta, as we know, is the one who sends food to the baby. When it dies, baby will not be getting anymore food. Hence, become small.

Now what happens AFTER we give birth? Well normally, after giving birth, the production of that feminine hormone mentioned above will reduce significantly and most of the time, our condition will stabilise and GDM will go away. That is why 6 weeks after giving birth, we will need to do another Glucose test to determine whether or not we still have it.

I felt sad for two ladies. their BSL had been esp high despite the strict hospital diet that we had for the day. After food, our BSL should read between 5.5 - 7, whereas theirs were 8 and above. This prompted the nurse to contact their gynae to advise further action. Luckily for one of them, she was just required to monitor a bit more, but for the other, she was ordered to start on insulin injections. On the tummy! Can you imagine? Me i'm already scared to put a pin on my fingers what more if i were asked to inject MYSELF with an actual NEEDLE into the TUMMY. *faint* *jelly legs*

Thankfully my own readings for the day even if it was out was less than 0.5 out of range. so i was just asked to monitor for 2 consecutive days in a week and then hand in the chart to my gynae on next visit.

On the whole, I am very very very satisfied with my day at ODAC. I'm soo happy i've learnt what my condition is really about. I mean.. reading and actually having someone explain it to us face to face ready to answer any Qns are really two different experiences altogether. On the other hand, I felt cheated that the gynae from polyclinic had really downplayed what GDM is all about. Humph.

Can't wait for my next appointment! We will be doing another ultrasound scan. Yay yay!!

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