The Original Juice

Boy! am i on the rambling roll!

Since im on the subject of money, i will tell you that i can never forget this incident back when i was in ZAC Meat.

I was being hospitalised at Mount Elizabeth for cornea ulcer hours before my trip to Australia. I was warded for 4 days and they asked for some $1 or $2k deposit. we certainly dont have that much money in any of our savings... So i turned to my employer at that point of need.

I asked for a loan for exactly the said amount and explained that it is a deposit to the hospital and that i would return it just as soon as the hospital returned it back to me.

You know what?

My "application" was REJECTED lah sak!

Till today, I dont have ANY IDEA on what basis it was rejected. I was a good employee, always on time or often early, no MIA, always covered with MCs. and most importantly of all, i have NEVER even taken an "Advance" before unlike half of the rest of his employees in the factory.

So why is it that i was, in a way, labelled as a bad debtor???

IT WAS JUST FOR A FREAKING HOSPITAL DEPOSIT!!!

I was in hospital, you didnt even visit me... that's fine... but you didnt even have compassion to help your loyal employee of 3 freaking years!

I wonder why i stayed for that long.

Ok Julissa! Stop fantasizing! Wake Up baby!

Stop surfing www.misatravel.com.sg or www.fascinating.com.sg for all those wonderful holidays you cant afford. I'm not even talking about Dubai or Melbourne... I'm just talking about a 3D2N to Bintan/Bangkok. it costs freaking min $500 per person lah!

You see... i just realised that for this Pakistan Trip of which the flight is about 7hrs long... i WONT HAVE my hubby with me!!!!! How sian / irritating is that?! I mean its not like i travel for more than 6hrs every year you know... and the one time that i CAN and WILL be going to, i dont have my hubby with me... I know i have accepted the shortened trip readily... but this realisation just keeps me down, man.

Furthermore, last night when we were at the airport, he kept saying, 8th dec here i come... and it'd be only HIM and WE/US... so frustrating.. i feel so... singled out!

And btw, after the shortened trip and - 2 half days due to eve of PH, i have 2 extra annual leave for the year!!!

So i thought i'd go for a short getaway with Zubair before 8th Dec so i wldnt feel so lovesick hehehe...

The best i could find was $238 per pax for 3D2N at Sunway lagoon. I cant even raise the total amount by end Nov.

The thing is.. i wanna spend an extended weekend with him but i dont want it to be like last weekend where both of us got SUPER bored. so a trip to M'sia, i tot was achievable... But doesnt look like it... Ok, i can opt for a 3* Stanford Hotel ... BUt???? All the way to KL to stay in Stanford? I dont know man...

ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH *pulls hair*

Im pretty sure Zubair thinks i'm a crazy woman now.

Sunday has a way of creeping behind ur back to surprise you with a hectic day..

You see.. I was struggling thru a boring Sunday right? Then at 5pm, i FINALLY settled down to playing Spongebob on PS2. But 15min later, my mum called asking me what i'd like for dinner. i said, "hmmmmmmmm what i'd like for dinner eh? I'd like to have Breeks!" She asked where i said at causeway point. she said she'd ask ayah and get back to me.

Suddenly i found myself getting ready cos mummy n ayah will be picking us up in 15min, drop off cuzzies at Simei, then Breeks at Airport.

Now, the Breeks were a chaotic place, under-staffed or over-staffed w JUNIOR staff hah.. The boy who was serving us was making a fool of himself. we asked him what was Calamari TAIL. he said while shuffling his feet, "What eh... Ahh... hmmm... Alah... i used to work in the kitchen but now i dont remember..." Then he disappeared... later he came back and said its Cuttlefish. *roll eyes* YEAH we KNOW its cuttlefish but WHICH part of the cuttlefish is it? Cause it said TAIL does it mean its the LEGS/tentacles or something? He didnt manage to come up with an answer, oh whatever, we thought, we're not gonna order it anyway due to YOUR incompetence!

Then there was another staff... his name tag showed "MADE". we wondered where from is he? The name didnt seem Malay... but he definitely looked malay. We decided he was filipino... Then he came to clear our table and spoke Indonesian to us! We found out he was from Bali, just 2 weeks starting work in Singapore! But my! did he seem professional or "cool" while doing his job.

Anyways, Thank you very much mummy and ayah for the treat. I have satisfied my "mengidam" or desire for Breeks...

Oh yeah we were so very SUPER Full after that... Being at the viewing Hall... we managed to catch A380 taxiing off! HUGE man! and i didnt know Terminal 2 has changed soooooo much! The viewing mall is not as nice as before because the Departure Lounge below has extended out so we didnt get proper window view. NONSENSE.

PS: Unfortunately, my phone died just before we reached the airport, so didnt get to take any pictures!

I took leave for Fri 9th Nov to get a nice long weekend.. Thurs being Deepavali...

It's mid Sunday now and im totally BORED!!!!

1. all my books are finished..
2. i can only play 60min trial games bcos my debit card at $0 is not recognised by realarcade to get the full version...
3. Zubair is either sleeping or studying or watching YouTube...
4. the Shopping Centre Tycoon CD i bought is totally worthless...
5. I cant seem to run The Sims2 Pets. Error msg said to make sure i have some directX 9.0c. i already installed it again but it still cant run even after a pc restart.
6. no money to go anywhere
7. TV is useless
8. I dont like replaying old games
9. nor rereading old books

ahhh i know i know you must be thinking... Go read Qur'an... Go exercise or something...

What Mathieu said was right when i complained long time ago that the weekend is too short.. he said, "yup that;s why weekends are just 2 days... precious. any longer and it wont be precious anymore..." or something to that effect.

Remember i told you i had this opinion about the sensible "method" to work your way thru a meal?

Basically, it all must be balanced. Typically, a Malay dinner meal will consist of Rice, meat and vege. In each mouthfuls, i will ensure that i have equal % of rice, meat and vege to last thru out the meal. so that everything will finish at the same time. If there's leftover rice, i hafta add some more meat to eat w the rice. If there's still some more meat, i will add rice to eat with it.

I have a habit of having everything balanced and/or symmetrical. Eg: my tudung/scarf. hehe

Now, Kak Long said that those are signs of OCD!

Other examples of OCD taken from this site:

“I couldn’t do anything without rituals. They invaded every aspect of my
life. Counting really bogged me down. I would wash my hair three times as opposed to once because three was a good luck number and one wasn’t. It took me longer to read because I’d count the lines in a paragraph. When I set my alarm at night, I had to set it to a number that wouldn’t add up to a ’bad’ number.”

“Getting dressed in the morning was tough, because I had a routine, and if I didn’t follow the routine, I’d get anxious and would have to get dressed again. I always worried that if I didn’t do something, my parents were going to die. I’d have these terrible thoughts of harming my parents. That was completely irrational, but the thoughts triggered more anxiety and more senseless behavior. Because of the time I spent on rituals, I was unable to do a lot of things that were important to me.”

But boy was i glad when i glanced upon this paragraph:

Healthy people also have rituals, such as checking to see if the stove is
off several times before leaving the house. The difference is that people with
OCD perform their rituals even though doing so interferes with daily life and
they find the repetition distressing.

and also an introduction of OCD by Wikipedia:

The phrase "obsessive-compulsive" has worked its way into the wider English lexicon, and is often used in an offhand manner to describe someone who is meticulous or absorbed in a cause (see also "anal-retentive"). Such casual references should not be confused with obsessive-compulsive disorder; see clinomorphism. It is also important to distinguish OCD from other types of anxiety, including the routine tension and stress that appear throughout life. Although these signs are often present in OCD, a person who shows signs of infatuation or fixation with a
subject/object, or displays traits such as perfectionism, does not necessarily have OCD, a specific and well-defined condition.

I'm Off the hook! I DONT have OCD! wekkkkkk :P

Ayah is one of the words in Malay to mean Father.


Other words are Bapak, Abi (ok technically it's Arabic), Baba, Pak.....

My Dad. Adam Bin Mohamed Amin was born on 10th July 1953.

Ayah is a very silent person.. but yet funny as in crack joke funny. He had never once beaten any of us. But you can tell when he is angry. That is when his voice is stern or when his answers are one word answers or when you hear a lot of irritated sighs. Once or twice, he was angry for being late for maghrib prayer, then he drove EXTRA SUPER fast. We were quite scared in the car but didnt dare to breathe a word lest it would provoke him more.

I would say, i am the closest and the most pampered by Ayah. Even then, i still dont do enough for him.

When i was a little girl, i remember that almost every Sunday, he would bring me to the playground at Pasir Ris or some place, some 10 or 15min ride on the bike away from our old home in Tampines, prolly bcos my sisters were too "grown up" to play with me at that time. So Ayah took pity on me. hehe

For my 12th or 13th Bday, i asked for a roller blade. Ayah even let me choose which one i wanted. I think i chose the $210++ one, despite Mummy's disagreement, and for a good reason too. It's just a phase. And rightly so as i didnt use it much. primarily bcos, it's funny to be blading on your own, also i dont really know how to brake!!! hahahah

In short, he would, most often that not, say yes to whatever i want, whichever opinion i have. He would always side me that it irked my mummy. hehe and most of the time, to get my way, i always consult Ayah first to get the permission, say to go camping or whatever. And then i can just go to mummy and say, Ayah said ok. heheheheh


There was a phase in our family life when Ayah had long hair, listened to rock music n went to concerts while mummy wore tight but stretchable jeans and with scarves tied to the back (ie neck exposed). Back then, i was thinking to myself, Why i didnt have a more religious family, stricter parents? Bcos i felt embarassed when at Sec 2 or age 14, i still havent finished / khatam reading the Qur'an partly bcos i wasnt sent to any religious classes / ngaji; and that i didnt know the stories of the prophets nor the sahabats (Prophet Mohd's companions). i didnt know a lot of doas also, esp the one after u finish a session of Qur'an reading.


But Alhamdulillah, praises and thanks to the Almighty Allah, who has bestowed on our family, or at least my parents, His rahmah and guidance. He is now active in tabligh / spreading the word of Islam. He is always going to the mosque for jemaah prayer. He had even gone to China and India for a month each (in diff years) in the course of knowing Allah and oneself. Occassionally, He urged us to join a session for the ladies. im ashamed to say that this time around, it was I whose faith was not strong enough, who was reluctant to go. But sometimes we obliged to appease him.


What triggered this entry was my "meeting" with mummy and ayah just last sat night. Mummy said, "u dont hafta listen to whatever i said earlier, but just think... Ayah had always conceded to whatever u said or wanted to do. But why is he saying No to you now?"


Then afterwards, Ayah recalled that time when i was accepted to a Tahfiz Uni in KL with full scholarship but i turned it down. His friend told him, "Haji Adam, you have made a wrong decision. You should have forced your daughter to go to that school." And I told him that yes, i have long since regretted not going for it too. *sob*


At another instance, he told me also that he was dead worried when he was away in China. He would wake up in the middle of the night crying for me. It was bcos i said something like, with my father away in China, nobody is on my side at home. it was the time when all the girls really really despised my relationship with the first BF. i still dont know why they felt that way, but im glad it turned out the way it did anyway.


My point is, i didnt know i could make such an effect on/to (?) my father. What an ignorant daughter i was!


As my wali, all my beaus wouldn't fail to say that my father is a good man. They always reminded me to listen to or discuss with my father first, before anything. Zubair has great respect for him. Ok some of his actions might contradict to that claim but all the same, he still has great respect for Ayah. Once, when we argued, he said to me, "it's only bcos of your father that i'm staying."


I am not good at hugs or saying I love you to other pple other than my husband (i cldnt say those to any of my Exes also). But this tribute means just that :)

Having gone thru a turbulent past 1.5week, i hope the worst is over.

As a result, my parents urged me to reconsider my decision staying in Pak for a month ie 8th Dec - 8th Jan 08. Reasons being:

1. boss was reluctant at first to give leave. Tho Ukhrawi or Life After Death is important, we cannot neglect our current life and take it for granted. Who is to know what will happen to my job when i come back?
2. Pakistan is known for its terrorism. No offense to Zubair's family, i have no doubt they are good pple. But its the other pple who wldnt care for me that can do me great harm. My dad gave a scenario, a guy pretended to be a relative n lured me to some place, then held me captive and sell as sex slave or whatever. Funny. Mummy said, if, God Forbids, u die there, its fine bcos death can come anytime anywhere. But i dont want you to be "dianiayai" ... victimised.
3. Will i really be comfortable w/o my family for a WHOLE MONTH, this being our first time and all? Being a Singaporean, i wld say we're very pampered pple, accustomed to facilities and conveniences. and additionally, i have ALWAYS lived with my parents thru the 25 yrs of my life.. esp my mummy... what were i to do if she's not there?? heheh Who will iron/wash my clothes?

Actually, Ayah advised ALL of us NOT to go. On the other hand, i can't bear to leave my husband 1 week before then 2 weeks after. Ok, initially, i was worried about some female disturbance in my absence, but Ayah convinced me that he's really true to me, he wldn't do anything and that we need to control our nafs / desire. That's why we have Ramadhan, in which we fast in the days.

Anyway, we reached a compromise that they will go n I can also go with the condition that i go n come back with them instead of 1 whole month ie 15th - 25th Dec 07, which, i agree very much after considering the above 3 points.

On top of that, i wont hafta use ANY unpaid leaves at all! Hooray! Plus, Ayah said that we (Zubair and i) can go wherever we want. No need to consider abt them as they'd like to be free to sight see also. and i sooooooooooooo wanna go to Murree... the Mountain resort. It snows there in Dec!! and its only S$100/night and the flight is just $100 per person too! *jumping jumping* BUt then, Zubair said, hafta look n see how's the political condition in Pakistan. Bcos, unfortunately, Murree is located in Islamabad, the country's Capital. It might not be very easy to go there. Well ... let's see...

Hmmm... Do i still need to take a laptop with me during that 10days trip? It will be very useful to upload pictures n blog. bcos i dont want to return with so many stories that i dont know where to start... or that i forgot some important points...

It was an intimate affairs with just us the fav cuzzies.


I asked my mum, "How come the other Malay families make such a big event out of this Cukur Rambut?" Tradition. *shake head*

Oh My Lord, this test has been too great for me. I am not sure if i can survive it.

Please, dear lord, i implore you to ease my difficulties, to make clear the right path, to make my heart accept the fate that you have bestowed upon me.

You ARE the ALL-KNower, u know what i'm feeling. You ARE Ar-Raheem, please have sympathy on me.

I am embarassed to ask so much from You. For i know, i have sinned, i have let you down. This must have been my retribution to have forgotten You. I was weak, oh Allah. And i didnt like it. You know i dont. You know of the guilt i felt amidst the sins i've done.

You know how much i missed you... i want to return to you. Please, Oh Allah the Most Merciful. Forgive me, for i am only human. Take me, I wanna be your loyal servant.

But please.... please... please... solve this problem for me. Please make the thing i'm inclined to, be the best thing for me, for us. I can only depend on You. You are the only One who can help me. You are the Listener, the Problem Solver.

I am grateful that I'm still a muslim. I am grateful for my caring family, for my wonderful job, for my friends. I appreciate that we are not as worse off as other pple. I remember the nikmat / pleasures u gave us all...

OH Allah, please save all who reads this from the heat of Hell Fire. Please give us your Hidayah and guidance.

We are simply nothing, without you.

I find this amusing yet disturbing.


Amusing that they had overwhelming response.


But what will happen to the auction lists and the bids we already place? will it be resetted? Like some are expiring in 1hr.. now it's been more than 1 hr? Then when will the countdown be restarted?


And as a registered member, i didn't even get an email notification about this URGENT maintenance nor what is the consequences.


Sheesh! I loathe them already. Thank God!