Tufeil News - 10.5months old

That night after cooking for him, we went to bed as usual.

I nursed him at first. And then he removed himself and thrashed around. I dont know what gave me this idea to suddenly want to sleep train him ie not nurse to sleep but sleep on his own. So i refused him his milk. Of course, crying ensued.

At the 10 min mark, my mum came in and asked what happened? Told her the above.

Another 10 min passed by and he still didnt wanna be soothed. But i kept telling myself, "If i give in now, he might think that its ok to demand by crying." and accordingly tuned out his cries. But other inhabitants of the house couldn't do the same. They felt i was torturing him. Mum urged me to just give him his milk, pity on him, he still doesnt know anything.

When i finally relented, it took some effort calming him down. He was suckle a little, and then cry, suckle a little and cry. It was as if he was still afraid i won't give him fully. That was the scene that broke my heart.

He slept poorly that night also. Waking every hour for a suckle. Kesian!!!

I blamed myself totally. It was my fault that i didn't prepare nor warn him in advance which is the Step 1 in the Whale Done Parenting wisdom. I resolve to start training him after 18months old, when hopefully he can better understand what i say and then i can tell him, "Tonight we are going to sleep on our own."

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His separation anxiety is quite bad. And then i got this from BabyCentre Newsletter for 10month 3 week old:

As babies begin to pay more attention to what's going on around them, it's
not unusual for them to develop new fears. In fact, it's a normal developmental
stage. Your baby may suddenly cry and cling to you upon hearing even familiar
sounds such as the dog barking next door, the vacuum cleaner or the doorbell
ringing. You can comfort him by providing lots of hugs and kisses. This will
reassure him that you're standing by and all's right with the world.

The email couldn't be timely enough. I just noticed that he's started to fear animals! He would clung to us more tightly whenever a foreign living thing with whiskers, tails are moving about. We were gonna give him a kiddy ride on Sesame Street wagon but he was afraid of ELMO!! Can u imagine that?? hehee so cute! Save money!

But you know who would capture MORE of Tufeil's attention than me? It's none other than his Atok! Grandpa! Oh That suits me great. Cause when i reach home, fed him and pumped, it would be time for my shower and he will gladly flail his arm for his Atok! Alhamdulillah for this.

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In other Tufeil News, his bottom two teeth are on really the verge of erupting! But i think at 10.5months, this is considered late? Note to self: Give him more calcium.

Tufeil is either in some kind of growth spurt or he is making up for all the lost eBM he missed while he was ill. He's drinking 4 bottles of AT LEAST 80ml (preferably 100ml) but i'm producing just 3bottles of 80ml! HELP! Ya Allah, please make it so that i have enough milk for my son.

Just last night, i let him roam around on the floor. Then left him in the living room where nenek is watching tv and atok is using the pc. Then i rushed to find which tudung to wear for next work day. As i walked to the service balcony to iron it, i found my darling Tufeil in the kitchen. Alone! Awwww my baby was searching for me! Before that when he crawled to the kitchen he did find me there.

Then while ironing my tudung, i sat him in the kitchen with some toy my eyes on his back. When i finished 1 min later, he found him not in the kitchen, nor the living room but in my bedroom!!

Ohhh my emotions is a mixture of pride and guilt. Guilt cause i let him roam around unsupervised. Pride cause he's actually brave enough to go off on his own now!

He's growing up too fast now! Masya'Allah.