Xiaxue is one of Singapore's Top Bloggers. I've been following her blog for prolly a year now and even read her archives.
Anyway, she hates lizards too! But i'd say she's much BRAVER than me bcos she hates them sooo much she can KILL THEM! she can even photographed them dead lah!! i wish i have the courage.
Here's the link and below is the excerpt and my comments at intervals:
Yesterday I bought a lo mai gai (is it spelt like that?) and I put it on the kitchen table for maybe 1 hour... The damn thing was wrapped inside 1 paper bag and the paper bag was wrapped in a plastic bag.
I took up the package, wanting to microwave it, and midway during the journey to the microwave a HUMONGOUS LIZARD JUMPED, literally JUMPED, out of the plastic bag.
He flew up scrabbling and wiggling in midway (in a rather comical way, if I were not the victim) landed with a heavy and cold THUD on the crook of my arm.
I screamed cold murder and flung both lo mai gai and lizard away while running to the bedroom and whimpered to a sleeping and confused Mike.
Amazingly enough, the lizard managed to get through both paper and plastic bag to get to the food.
AND WHAT THE FUCK ARE LIZARDS DOING EATING LO MAI GAIs ANYWAY?
Don't people who defend lizards always say, "Oh, lizards are good what, they eat our pests!"
IT IS ALL A FACADE I TELL YOU! (I soooo agree with you!!!)
Lizards like our human food just like cockroaches do, and what's worse, they PRETEND to eat mosquitoes and the like!
CAN YOU PLEASE TELL ME, IF YOU ATE LO MAI GAIs WILL YOU STILL GO AND EAT FLIES AFTER THAT??No right?! (Oklah, prolly he was eating the ANTS around the food? OMG have i just defended the notorious CICAK species?!?!?!?)
GrrrrI swear, these fuckers just hate me!!!!!NOBODY ELSE HAS SUCH FREQUENT LIZARD TRAUMAS!!!
Maybe they know I enjoy killing their kind. Oh yes I'm gonna redouble my efforts in killing you all you know, you dirty ugly wonky-eyed muthafuckers!!!!!!I'd extend my reign of terror to Macau, where I will also kill the lizards there!! (Yes yes!! please Kill all the cicak in the world! U'll be our Superhero!)
P/S: Here's a photo of a lizard I smacked to death with my bathroom slipper.
Disgusting, isn't it? (OMG, i cant even bear to look!)
Disgusting, isn't it? (OMG, i cant even bear to look!)
It totally serves him right because he was hiding BEHIND THE TOILET ROLL.
I cannot comprehend why anyone would go hide behind toilet rolls unless their purpose in doing so is to unleash themselves upon innocent girls who unfurled the roll of paper to wipe their asses. (Imagine them clinging to the paper and u wiped ur butts with it! OH GOD!! *puke puke*)
That place (behinde the toilet roll) is not particularly fragrant and it is definitely not a good insect-catching spot.
Therefore, this lizard is evil.
Since he is evil, I chased him into the shower area and sprayed him with terribly hot water and when he is momentarily paralyzed, smacked him with my bathroom slipper.
SMACK!
Once, and he twitches.
Oh, still alive, aren't you?
SMACK!A last feeble twitch.
SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK!
Flush corpse into toilet bowl. Revenge is sweet. (HOw did she freaking pick it up, man!!! I cant Imagine even lifting it up with thick newspaper. I can just feel the body weight, the shape, the sliminess!! )
I killed one more lizard with this method. That lizard also deserves it because he was drinking water from my bathroom.
We have to pay rent and water bills of the precious water he is drinking, and did he ask permission? NO. Sorry, water not yours to drink, therefore deserve to DIE.
Besides, he was probably the one who dared the toilet-roll-lizard to sit there and hop onto my hand after I shat, thinking it is very funny. (Oh yeah. damn funny!)
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