How We Met...

I actually promised in Multiply like 4 months ago that i would write on how we met...

haha so here goes... My side of the story first...

In Oct, I was broken hearted but was determined to find a good/better guy. This time he's GOT to be TALL, Indian / Arab and somewhat religious. Coincidentally, my friend from Stansfield invited me on Love Happens

Ever since then, i've been searching for Muslim guys with the requirement as above, on top of that, doesnt drink nor smoke lah of course and from all countries: US, Australia, saudi, India, Pakistan... etc.. I clicked Yes, i'm interested on some 60 pple!!

There is no way u can communicate further w a guy u r interested in unless u pay or discreetly insert ur email in the profile which is NOT allowed lah actually. I saw one email add and started to write to him but his replies were just FORWARDED emails!!! I corresponded with another guy.. But somehow.. it lacked something..

And then i discovered a 3-day free trial in which we can private msg members and not the free but good-for-nothing pre-set Icebreaker. I started to write Eid Mubarak greetings to about 4 pple and asked them how did they spend Hari Raya in their country and stuff.. Just the next day i received a reply from xubipianist giving his email add.

hi thx ....hows spend ur eid??...i have no credit on love happines...well its my e mail....xxxxx@yahoo.com...waiting u

hi again . wots ur real name??i seen ur pics ur very nice by looking....and tell me about ur self.....i have send u my e mail add note it then we ll talk there ok. and take serious care about ur self and send me ur e mail add also....again im sending u my 2 email add

Doesnt he just sound enthusiastic?? Now.. i just need to know if he's sincere or not. I replied him straight away... After a week of sending INTERESTING emails to and fro, he called me on the phone! and he said I love you and proposed to me! Er... i said, "I wont answer that question until u come to Singapore and propose face-to-face. But i Am open for marriage."

The week after that we scheduled late night chat sessions 3am Spore time and 12am Pakistan time. Boy was it fun! But i wanna see his face!! i have a webcam and he kept asking me to turn it on but i refused bcos it wldnt be fair if only HE can see me. So Guess what?? i bought for him a webcam and sent all the way to Lahore! it took another week before it reached him and we started video calls from then..

Now his side of the story....

He just ended a 2 yr relationship bcos he thought that it cldnt get far and some communication problem lah. in short, he said that if he married her, life would be hell.

He checks his email regularly at his friend's house or at school and sometime at his own house. and one day he saw an email "Juice is interested to meet you" and another day he saw i sent him a private msg and quickly replied...

He kept telling me he's not from a rich family but alhamdulillah they are managing just fine. He was working as a music teacher at a good private sch and also performed in bands, etc. He is the eldest of 3 sons, his father died when he was 4, younger bro 2 and youngest one still unborn. His mother worked very hard to provide for them 3 all those years. From this i reckon that he is a responsible person.

3 weeks on, and i was feeling restless or lost ... can't focus, happy, fidgeting, delirious, confused, Cloud 9.... It's like i have a lover but i've never met him. I missed him but cldn't touch him... i just soothed myself listening to his songs... looking at his face on webcam...

I confided in 3 friends. the first one i told is the very catalyst of this relationship. She is super happy and excited for me and i welcomed that very much of course. however, two other friends expressed concern and told me to be cautious bcos there are a lot of fakes and frauds out there. They recalled their other friends who encountered problems w same national.

One day, my parents called me to their room and slow talked lah. of course they noticed my weird behaviour and wanted to know the exact story... I was sooo shy though i told them while covering my face with a pillow! hahaha but surprisingly my parents are cool about it. Ok my father is always cool... but my mum! But i think to them any guy is better than the previous profile kind. i even suspect that my mum is relieved that her prayers were answered with this new guy.

It didnt go all smooth for us though...

At first, when he told his mother, she was absolutely opposed to it! She said that its a tradition to marry WITHIN the family. I guess she was more scared to lose her FIRST son if and when he moves. Eventually, after a week or two, he convinced his mother saying im a good girl from a good family. heheeh *grin* And then his mother talked to my parents via webcam. his mother can't speak English so she spoke Urdu to the mic and then Zubair wld translate into english by typing... At first, she wanted to confirm that both my parents consented to our marriage which they did... and then she wanted to entrust the care of his son to them... and lastly she said she will treat me like her own daughter having none herself.

1 month before the wedding and we just started to make preparations. For me, there wasn't much to do. I wanted it to be a very small affair just between close family and friends. Guest list totaled 200pple but i think just abt 150 came.

1. Made eCard for my friends and mum called her bros n sis, uncles n aunties
2. Caterer is my mum's friend and sponsored by mum
3. Henna
4. Backdrop for dais
5. Make up artist and a pair of costume

The funny part was renting the costume.... when she asked the size for the male i hesitated.... my mum just told her the guy's not in Singapore so he cant come to try it. haha but described that he's tall and skinny so she gave S i think but that she will alter if necessary on the day itself.

AND THEN THE BIGGEST HURDLE HIT US.

His ex girlfriend attempted suicide... TWICE if not 3 times taking in poison. the first time around, it was not so serious...

she found out my email add and sent me countless emails asking me to end the relationship and that Zubair loved HEr and NOT me... she was menacing at first... subsequently, she mellowed down. she said she doesnt hate me but that they were just meant to be. if i really loved him i shld let him go to the person he really loved. Hello.... he DUMPED you bcos of YOU, or have u lost ur memory? I didnt reply to her. Not a single one.

Anyways, she tried to eat poison a second time and this time it got serious. she was hospitalised for a few days. During that week, we havent got to chat much and then i saw in his email he sent a LOVE CARD to this hag saying i love u, cant wait to marry you and some things in urdu.. I got real frantic i panicked. what is the meaning of this? did he ever loved me? has he been lying to me all along? none of my pakistani friends were online to get translation... i went to Yahoo Answers and everything..

and suddenly Zubair told me......... he cant continue with me!! he said he is sorry that i have already made wedding plans in Singapore and he's ashamed to talk to my parents but he said, "someone ended their life for you, how wld u feel?" and furthermore, we were just 3 mths old then.

I cried so hard and wont open the door that made my mum sms him to ask is everything ok. and what did he reply? "yes everything's ok. just some money problem" or something to that effect. i really needed to cry and think it out.. i called my nearest friend to come and meet me urgently. and we talked about it and she asked me, "He didnt really say he didnt WANT you right?

I asked to talk to him that night. I asked if it had all been a lie from the start? he said no he had really loved me. I reminded him of the reasons he dumped her in the first place. and that everybody has to go through some disappointments in life, she has to learn to deal with it. why would he wanna give up happiness for me and especially HIMSELF for misery his whole life? Then he said he wanted to do VIDEO call. and to my surprise, he was unshaven, and eyes were red and when he saw me he cried. and everything came back to normal. Thank God! He just ignored her from then on.

The other most important setback was MONEY. Just a week or two before his scheduled flight to Singapore, a financial institution of some sort was busted for fraud. He ran away with pple's money and there goes all their family's savings of about 300k or 3lakhs in total?? about S$7.5k. Fortunately, most things are confirmed, so he just need to come to Singapore.

And now here we are... Alhamdulillah, together and happy. We just need to persevere these few months and when the passes are settled and he can earn in Singapore Dollars and we'd have a lot of space to breathe... and his family in Pakistan will benefit a lot from the currency conversion hopefully, insya'Allah..

Pray for us, friends...