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Post Natal Depression

The other night i tred to explain to Zubair what Post-natal depression is.


I might have made a mistake of telling him that one of the things a depressed mother could do is to try and kill her own baby. He found this appalling, that no mother should feel that way under no circumstances.


I tried to tell him that taking care of a baby is NOT easy, very tiring and that might lead to the mother feeling that way. He was having none of this. He said that we all read too much and believe too much of what he said is a Western ideology. I kept reiterating that this is all medical research!


As his defense, he said he's never seen such cases in Pakistan. But then...

  1. Maybe he hasnt seen a lot of pregnant women. even if he does, he might not know how they feel
  2. Not everybody suffers from this depression
  3. and perhaps the ones who did didnt voice out their concerns for whatever fear they had

So i feel like the market has been spoilt for me. All im trying to tell him is that, i think i might be at high risk of getting this depression thingy and that the main thing that can help is love and support from spouse and family members. And knowing and being prepared about it helps. He didnt bat an eyelash.

While my sister won't even let me carry my shopping bags, Zubair just looked on as i painstakingly removed the heavy keyboard from the bed to the other side of the room on the floor. Wldn't have any of my whining for tiredness or whatever. He would say, "yeah it's normal. You're pregnant what" or... "It's ok.. you're only pregnant... not dying"

Ok maybe he's much better now. Like that time we were walking home hand in hand. a flight of downwards stairs approached then i gasped and squeezed his hand and he quickly got it, walked much slower and didnt let go of my hand. How nice.

He had even obliged to my request for a back massage cos my tailbone was hurting A LOT from sitting too long in the train. Hah But after that he will ask me to massage his back and legs also. Ok lah... u scratch my back i scratch yours. As long as u scratch mine properly. haha

Nowadays i reverted back to meeting my dad at Lil India to get a ride home. So when on Mon, i went home on my own by train, i was surprised to find that i got breathless when i reached home and sooo tired i cldnt go to my class. Even the prospect of a ride to class cldnt make me go.

Doesn't help that i've been coughing from last Wed and the phlegms are building up. In fact, i just vomitted for the first time in my pregnancy only just now from coughing too much. Maybe its the many cold drinks i've been having the past few weeks hehehe but also i always get these mild asthma attacks around Dec.

But which reminds me... Why is bad for pregnant women to drink hmmm carbonated drinks? I didnt know until a certain Chinese coursemate told me something about it having chemicals in it? I dont know... but i drink Light versions of Coke and/or Pepsi only. 0 calories! Woo hoo

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7 glasses of Juice:

butterflyrubrics said...

hi juls,

my hubby's like yours, very no-nonsense, but it doesn't mean he doesn't care. its usually because their own mothers are strong independent women, and so they don't see the need to fuss so much over us. don't worry, it gets better, especially you start having trouble sleeping cos of the bodyaches, and he sees your feet swell from the water retention. now my hubby will do anything to make sure i'm comfortable. and i really don't know what i'd do without him. you may want to also subscribe him to pregnancy newsletters, esp the ones with a "what can dad do" section. it'll help him better understand and anticipate the changes your body is going thru.

about post partum depression (PPD), its impt to differentiate between baby blues and PPD. while almost all women experience baby blues in the first 2 weeks of the adjustment period or so, PPD is not very common. see here for more info.

the first mistake u can make is to EXPECT yourself to get PPD. jangan du'a lah k dear? i think for us Muslim mothers we shouldn't be as vulnerable, insyaAllah. during the baby blues period, we may FEEL like throwing the baby out of the window, but we'd never do it, because we have our Faith in Him to pull us through it. the impt thing is to know that its a temporary condition, and slowly but surely adjust to your challenging but equally rewarding new role insyaAllah.

Jussaemon said...

heheh yeah i think the visible bump helps a lot in reminding the Hubs that we're pregnant and require special attention. =)

heheh i tot if we anticipate something to happen, we will do more to prevent or overcome it. But true lah Faith and/or conscience won't let us do anything stupid.

Hid said...

Jus, coke still ada caffeine walaupun zero calories!

Hid said...

Jus, coke ada caffeine so go light on that coke light! - Hid

Jussaemon said...

oh right =( oklah ill try for.... max 3 cans a week? or maybe 4. heheh at least i dont drink coffee to bring the intake up more.

Abid said...

"Hubs that we're pregnant and require special attention"

Some people still dont get it. Like on the bus...some ppl dont even move for preggy ladies.

Sandra said...

beware the artificial sweeteners in diet sodas. water is of course the best drink for you!