Problems with My Pakistan Trip!!

In the very beginning, i planned to go back to Pakistan on 15th Dec 07 till 2nd Jan 08. Reasons being just received salary + 2 months AWS as well as it coincides with 3 Public Holidays.

The wedding was supposed to be just Before Eidul Adha ie 18th or 19th Dec and afterwards we will go to Murree - a mountain resort. My parents, Kak Long, Mak Long and Pak Long will be coming with us together on 15th Dec but they will come back 24th Dec.

Then Zubair suggested that we should go a week earlier to make arrangements for the wedding. (Tho i doubt very much we could achieve much in just 1 week.) and then there was the chaotic booking of the plane tickets. At first something like SQ dont have seats for the date we wanted, then the price has increased... then suddenly have seats on SQ... and then now we still wanted to make changes on the departure date! but thankfully, we were able to confirm 2 tickets for 8th Dec departure.

Now... i've already applied 6 days of annual leaves and 3 days of unpaid leaves to cover me from 15th - 31st Dec. I just need to ask Mike if i can take 5 more days of unpaid leaves prior to 15th Dec.

Me: Mike, You know i'm going to Pakistan in Dec right

Mike: Right

Me: Thing is, now we decided to go for 1 month, so i need to take another 5 days unpaid leaves on 10th - 14th Dec.

Mike: Why do you need to go for so long?

Me: I need to accompany my husband

Mike: Well.. i dont see that it's worthwhile to go for so long when u've already finished ur annual leaves. And Dec is a busy month. But we'll see what we can do.

He has been very stressed out lately and i think i added to his problems! I feel so guilty but i cant help it. There's no better time to ask him.

And Zubair and i hafta go and come back together, otherwise, the ticket will be even HIGHER still. but he NEEDs to go on 8th Dec... not to mention i'm scared of taking the plane alone. and i can't follow the others also bcos they will come back too early and of course i wanna spend some time with my Pakistani relatives too.... oh i dont knowwwwwwwwwww. PENING KEPALA!!! Headache!!

Well that's one problem. Another one is I'm not really sure when the AWS (Additional Wage Supplement?) or Year End BOnus will be debited to us. Now with the increased cost of ticket, i NEED that AWS to add on. And if indeed im going earlier, then need money to spend too.. and to put deposits for the wedding thingy. (but im telling u we're really gonna make a SUPER SIMPLE one just with families and a few close friends) Probably i'll take a Staff Loan with no interest then they can cut from my Dec salary.

And then there's an issue about accomodation. Zubair has already arranged with some difficulties from his friend to get the use of his empty house. for free. and now my parents and uncle/aunty are saying they DON"T WANT to stay there! What The!

OK i understand their predicament that they want more privacy (issue of awrah/covering). HOwever, I already told them they can live on separate floors if they dont want to hafta wear tudung all the time. the bathrooms ARE attached... (if im not wrong) and then Zubair said the good hotels are about 30min away from his house.

Ya Allah, please ease the planning, execution and return of this trip. Ameen.

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8 glasses of Juice:

Anonymous said...

Your family should take up the offer of free lodging. Hotel is comparatively expensive in pakistan and it is not convenient to get around without private transport.

The pakistani uses duputta, a long shawl to put around the head, so there is no need to wear tudung all the time if they are not comfortable.

In addition, men and women usually entertain separately, so the need to wear the tudung all the time is reduced.

Jussaemon said...

Oh what they meant is when the two couples live in the same house ie my parents and the uncle and aunty; they'd need to cover themselves. bcos bros-in-law are not muhrim/mahram whatever.

and most of us are not used to the concept of dupatta.. i AM used to it... but even then, just at home. If outside, a bit inconvenient to take care that it doesnt slip!

Anonymous said...

Dear daughter Julissa

we are arranging your stay in a proper way to keep your privacy. you and your family member are now our relative and it is our moral and obligatory duty to provide them all possible facilities.

So my dear daughter you need not to worry about the accommodation issues.

we are eagerily to see you in pakistan and Inshallah you and your family mameber will enjoy the stay in pakistan.

So forget your worriness about pakistan. you need not to spend even a single penny in pakistan. Because you are our guest and more than that your are our relatives too.
So feel free at home (Pakistan).

Your Mammooooo

Agha M. Ajmal

Jussaemon said...

Thank u very much, Mamoo..

but that's just one aspect of the trip... im still not sure about the date im gonna travel out.

Anonymous said...


Reading the comment by your mamoo (Hey,I have an uncle I used to call Mamoo too!), I can't help but feel excited for you too! Must take lotsa picts ok!

-Kak Adik

Jussaemon said...

Dont worry, we're camera-whores! hahahah

But pray it will all go well ok? Thank u in advance!

adiekosongtiga said...

Well, it is not only the problem of awrah and accomodation. It is more of comfort and perhaps luxury.

We are so used to be pampered by hotels toilet and freedom to go out anf in the hotel room anytime we want. If we stay with friends and relatives, we will feel very uncomfortable to go in and out as we like. We must have the courtesy to ask permission to do that.

Another issue is the toilet. In hotel room usually we have our own private toilet. We need not have to wait for other users. As for Mami, this toilet issue is most crucial.

Therefore, I suggest that we first lodge into the hotels and then later we will try to adjust into the friends house.

Being quite familiar with Tablgh Jamaat way of life, I do not find the friend's house a problem. With ALLAH's help, I had adjusted myself into many diffrent way of travelling and accomodations. Alhamdulillah.

But I have to adhere to my wife's needs and the comfort of my brother and sister-in-law.

However, marriage is not simply celebration and ceremony.

I am not in favour of this trip, as I don't find any necessities for another ceremony.

Instead of making all preparations for this ceremony, Zubair and Jussaemon, should have equipped yourselves with Islamic amal.

Perfected your solat or namaz. Performed extra fastings or roza.

Read and study the Holy Quran. Reflex over their meanings.

Both of you should also spent some time with the Tabligh Jamaat, because, it can help you to wind down from this stressful life.

Attending our programs, will help you to improve many religious obligations.

After 8 months of marriage, I do not see any improvement in both your religious life. Or has it became worst than before....????

This is a very dangerous situation. Your maarriage could be at stake if you do not fulfilled your duty as the servants of ALLAH.

I wish to advise Julissa to travel up to Lahore with me & my brother, and not earlier with Zubair, as I fear that she will not be able to adjust herself.

Already now, when she have problem with Zubair, she is emotionally unstable and unpresentable too. To make it worst she cannot speak in a courteous manner when angry. I must also add that during such circumstances she pose bad body language too, especially, with her twisted lips. Her twisted lips had even made me angry, although, as her father, I love her so much.

All these factors make me worried if she will pose undesirable attitude to her in-laws in Lahore.

I am also worried of Julissa's safety and security. She will be a stranger in Lahore. And Pakistan is a big country.

We have read heard in the news, and seen in TV, of so much trouble in Pakistan, such as terrorists, civil wars, political unrest, extremists and inter-Mazhabs fanatics.

It seems that the behaviour and inclinations of many people there are unpredictable.

Today they may like you and the next day they dump you and let you alone suffer difficulties.

And we have read of the corruptions and how legal proceedings cannot protect our rights, unless we know some influential persons or have plenty of money.

Therefore, once again, I wish to stress that it is not the ceremony that saves a marriage.

Only ALLAH will save your marriage.

It is how good we obey the commandments of ALLAH and following the sunnah of Rasulullah.


Jussaemon said...

I dare say it had become worse but i hope this is our turning point.

Yup i agree w u.. i might not be very comfortable. Though i've been thru adventurous rough camps, we're talking about diff lang, culture, tradition n priciples.

At least, for this first trip, i will follow u.